My Episode Subtext Reviews
Xena: Warrior Princess Episode Guide
Season One -- Episode One
Sins of the Past -- Review by Bacchae
"Journey's end in lovers meeting." The Bard (of Avon)
"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" Marlowe
Gertie Stein said something I'll try to quote from memory: "There is a
solemnity about a first meeting with someone whom we know will change our
lives." Xena and Gabrielle's first meeting may not have been solemn, at least
not on the surface, but it was a monumental moment in tv history. And in the
birthing of legendary duos. Their eyes met, if not "across a crowded room," in a
bustling clearing filled with would-be slavers and innocent village girls. Xena
has just literally packed it in, burying her warrior 'uniform' and her past--but
then a bold, bravely beautiful young woman steps forward and into her life, into
both of their destinies, placing her self-sacrificing nature in harm's
way from the very first moment we and Xena see her. They are instantly taken
with the sight of one another and Xena's decision to run from her past is
immediately rescinded to perform the first rescue of the maiden in a long litany
of such events.
From that moment the scenario plays more like a coming out
story (and budding romance) than just another buddy show. At the beginning they
may be perceived as falling into a prototypical depiction of butch and femme
roles. Xena, tall, darkly dangerous and silently handsome; Gabrielle, petite,
girlish, chatty, and pure sunshine. She is ready to grasp at the
chance for something more in life that her bard's soul always fantasized lay just
around the river bend. She lies awake dreaming about it, then seizes the day and
runs away from home where they don't understand her, where she's not the
perfectly good and obedient little girl her parents expect her to be, where she
feels "different," an outsider, unwillingly betrothed to marry a hulking dullard
of a farmer with whom she could never have been happy (this is before the part
of Perdicus was recast in a much more tender and romantic
light). She runs to and away with another woman who has captured her bardic
imagination (and more), returns the ultimate favor by saving Xena's life and
then just keeps coming with a tenacity that wears her reluctant would-be partner
down until the once fearsome warrior cannot say no to her. Sitting by the
campfire they exchange shy, tentative smiles and settle in for one of the great
epic love stories ever told.*
Subtext rating: Locked and Loaded (Significant)
* Personal Note: LL can convey so much with a far from simple glance or
touch. Maybe it's those passionately pale blue eyes,"hot ice (and wondrous
strange snow,") and in combination with ROC's natural playful ebullience there
exists a catalyst between them that is captured on film in a chemical reaction
so palpable even non or anti subtexters are unnerved by it. It's a powerful
thing...
Chariots of War
In the second episode the heavily plotted decision to
separate the girls is ill advised. And we are mistreated to the first in a long
line of dreary teen crush cliches for Gabrielle. Though her callow, exuberant
youthfulness is awfully endearing. Especially as she prattles on about the
romantic notion of finding one's tree in the forest (a soulmate by any other
name...) --and we know exactly whom that tree turned out to be, don't we? This
becomes just another episodic TV show indistinguishable from, say, an episode of
"Gunsmoke." Wouldn't it have made much better sense to, at the outset, allow
Gabrielle to see the consequences of a life following the W.P.? That is, she
should've been the one forced into a situation of tending her wounded partner
and coming bloodily to terms with just what that might entail. Gabrielle is very
much the young damsel in need of protection, but always exhibiting a brave heart
and feisty attitude and Xena is not, to her stray bout of regret, cut off from
family life at all as she will soon come to realize that Gabrielle is her
family. Here we see a situation which deliberately, it would appear, presented
as pattern in Season Five--separate the protagonist team and the subtext is
effectively muted at the least or rendered virtually nil at worst.
And what kind of trees are they? Sturdy apple or supple willows bending to a
cool forest pond, long tresses just touching the mirror surface, the trunk
enwrapped (enrapt?) by a twining and complementary vine of blushing rosebuds
about to open. There's your subtext for today.
Subtext rating: Nearly Nil (by logistics, but a growing warmth trickles
through the shy shared glances and softly spoken confidences. A bond is being
forged in the scenes they do share.)
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Dreamworker
A curious and intriguing episode from Steve Sears. The priests
of Morpheus kidnap Gabrielle as an innocent bridal offering to their dark lord.
Already there is the deep and abiding desire to protect Gabrielle, to be willing
to risk everything for her. Is Xena merely facing her fears or facing up to her
feelings? As the girls cross over into each other's dreams they become more to
each other than sidekicks. Gabrielle, like any dreamy-eyed adolescent, plucks
flower petals and contemplates the age-old question, yes or no, which shall it
be? At that moment Xena shows up in her dream. They gain sustenance from this
communing of their spirits and Xena is ready to battle Morpheus (the never seen
prospective bridegroom) for possession of her friend's body and soul. The loss
of Gabrielle's "blood-innocence" (and in this context as would-be bride we must
needs naturally extend this to cover her virginity) becomes an even more
over-riding concern for Xena and will remain so throughout most of the series.
This very basic dichotomy between the dark ex-warlord fighting for redemption
and her good-hearted, eternally optimistic voice of conscience in Gabrielle has
been all but lost in Season Five. Xena's words at the opening about killing
someone changing everything will come back to haunt both of them, repeated
numbly by the shell-shocked Gabrielle at the end of The Deliverer and passed on
as a hard soul-wrenching lesson by her in A Good Day. See a trend here? These
are ALL Steve Sears' episodes and just what I mean about an internal
consistency. It is one small, but important item like this that typifies his
strength as writer and storyteller and gave the show resonance. In a perfect
universe, of course, we wish the consistent and emotionally honest Mr. Sears
could've written the entire series.
Subtext Rating: One Raised Eyebrow (Meaningful)
Cradle of Hope
What is this John Hughes inspired obsession with baby
tossing? Confined to only this ep that particular bit of slapstick would not
have worn out its dubious welcome. But we like it better when Xena treats the
sleazy would-be lothario to a taste of tough love W.P. style...the over the
shoulder sucker punch...without another thought or backward glance. So much for
having a soft spot for bad boys. This ep mixes fairy tale elements with the
cautionary myth of Pandora's box and is a diverting hour. The baby in the
rushes. Pandora retold and rehabilitated. Even Hope is gone... X&G are still
trying to define their relationship; not a sister thing exactly, no...traveling
companions, friends, is Gab her 'ward' like Robin to Batman?...uh, no, that's
not it. At the end it is very touching of Xena to ask they name the baby Gabriel
for Gab. It gives us a very good idea of Xena's growing affection for the kid.
Gab is so heartbreakingly, sweetly innocent and enchanting. Xena is so wise, and
yet Gab will teach her so much. The marriage of opposites. The marriage of true
minds. No impediment.
Subtext rating: Short and sweet (like Gab) and slightly sassy...uh,
significant.
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The Path Not Taken
I was delighted when I saw the inter-racial aspect
here handled so well--or, really, not 'handled' at all, but completely taken for
granted. Made me think this boded well for a series that would not, then, stand
back to portray other types of adult relationships. When I was growing up, tv's
first inter-racial kiss ("Star Trek") caused a furor among benighted
conservative souls--just as any hint of gay love continues to provoke today.
Subtext rating: X&G are separated through much of the ep, so it's nil,
except...Xena's definition re ex-lover Marcus as "my friend" is interesting
though, no? in relation to her 'best friend' status with Gabrielle. [Note: I can
find subtext in every ep even if I have to scan with an electron
microscope...with the exception of that dreadful Gabless 'comic' ep (another
baby tossing ep, appropriately nicknamed the "stinky" show) that doesn't even
mention (not even by the supposedly besotted Joxer!) our Bard, what a dis.]
The Reckoning
Lot of things reckoned with in this one. Ares' first appearance and attempted
manipulation/seduction of Xena. Xena's past. Her present and future with
Gabrielle. Guilt, loyalty. Gabrielle, stunned as she feels the force of the
dark fire that still burns within Xena ("Playing with the tiger" as Melissa Good
might term it) directed towards her for a violent moment during Xena's lapse of
control; Xena disbelieving as Gabrielle returns for her after the incident. It
never occurred to Gabrielle not to, she never gives up, it's what we love about
her (one of the things) and Xena is more touched by this simple act of courage
and friendship than perhaps any ever before. Xena is willing to turn herself
over to certain justice for Gabrielle's release, just as Gabrielle is willing to
die with her friend as she wraps the coils of rope around her own neck. This is
such a selfless moment, a defining moment in their friendship. Xena must be
both surprised and touched at the depth of Gabby the Advocate's emotional
defense even though she admonishes her for it as if it were merely a bit of
bardic grandstanding. "This isn't about you." But it is. Anything that concerns
one of them is of utmost import to the other. Ares and the dark side are very
seductive, but Xena's clearly got his number...so why did she lose it later on
and come across quite often as weak and foolish in relation to him?
Subtext rating: Reckoned with and found willing. The little bard is
positively passionate in defense of her W.P. and the rapprochement at the cell's
barred window isn't played like a buddy scene. No, not at all. There is a
sweet and sensual warmth and tenderness and something much stronger than
friendship binding them together. Lot of binding in this ep. A little 'bondage'
and lots of those ties that bind the growing and established bond between our
heroines.
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The Titans
Gabrielle once again assays the role of the fairy-tale princess as she did in
"Dreamworker." She's a natural for it with that peaches and cream complexion,
long golden hair and the rustic costume. Winsome, lissome, erstwhile little
girl. Delightfully ingratiating and funny. Especially when she realizes the
'might be cool' parameters of unlocking the frozen Titans from their stoned soul
sleep. Xena's face when she finds Gab lying down on a bed ('resting') with the
boy of the week is a study in emotions which she may think she's fighting to
conceal but which Gab sure reads readily enough. And comes out swinging. "It's
none of your business." Chastened (and kicking herself for being so
transparent?) Xena agrees to those terms. Is Xena just being a protective
elder sister, maternal in watching over her young charge? Hardly. Seems a lot
more personal and basic than that. And this isn't the first time that we will
see that little moue on Xena's lips. The J word comes to mind. The plot
device, the McGuffin of Gab's virginity (which she seems so eager to lose)--used
for 'laying' (uh, in the properly legitimate sense of the verb) The Titans--had
to be called into question with the nondescript little wimpy monkish boy who was
almost her first. Gab is deeply hurt by Xena's perceived brusque treatment ("She
has no respect for me.") so she's ready to act out with the nearest guy. Thank
heavens she grew out of that boy-crazy teen girl thing fairly quickly. Thank the
gods for Xena's instinctive intervention whatever its motivation. Really, aw,
Gab, you can do better than that. What a heated, passionate little exchange
between our girls. Sets the tone for their future. And Xena looks relieved later
when she finds out that Gab is, indeed, 'intact' despite her lie to the Titans
about no longer being a virgin. One must speculate on exactly how low Xena's
heart dipped when she heard that lie come from the young woman's lips.
Subtext rating: Don't it make your blue eyes green?--if looks could burn you
with their smouldering smoky intensity LL would need to wear those Raybans
full-time.
[Ed.'s note: Both well-done and entertaining eps; a pleasure to re-view.]
Prometheus
The only major character crossover of Herc (until God Fearing Child) and his
sidekick Iolaus. In typical tv series fashion there seems to be a more or less
serious attempt afoot to promote a relationship between sidekicks. What a
cliche. Luckily, as with a H/X romance this was entirely impractical and when
Gabrielle meets Iolaus again (in The Quest) they hug as friends and she tells
him, in mourning for a great loss of the heart, just how much she loved Xena.
And the sweet little guy understands. He is almost as cute and petite in stature
as Gabrielle herself. The one thing we can thank the parent show for in this
spin-off series is the mirroring of the H/I team that seemingly mandated the
same symmetry for X:WP. But the most telling moment in the difference between
the couples is when they, the sidekicks, bid their mates adieu. Between H&I
it is clearly buddies saying take care, but with X&G it is already like
lovers who don't wish to leave each other. One of ROC's finest bits of acting in
the series--which always seem introspective, as well as retrospective, as both
she and Gab are fine storytellers--comes when, cradling the dying Iolaus in a
very poignant scene, she relates to him the ancient theory of gender and
attraction. Beautifully done. But it is Gab and Xena who are soul-mates. That is
already only too clear.
Subtext Rating: Strong and True
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Death in Chains
Is this the same Sisyphus of the uphill boulder myth? If so, he would've
deserved it for this one. Gab has a new (short-lived) outfit. Style, design,
colors wrong for her. And they're not showing that divine midriff yet. I guess
we're supposed to believe she made her outfit from her other dress. And she's
still cowering behind Xena. Having almost got her staff again in the
previous ep, we realize she must observe before she can even begin to learn how
to fight. But, with that feisty heroic demeanor, she follows Xena to confront
Death. Skeletons, rats. We'll visit that territory again, most memorably in
Locked Up and Tied Down and, here too, we get the full Indy Jones (a
rip-off...er, homage of "El Norte") rats scene. Evidently neither of our
actresses are afraid of a few scurrying furry vermin. Gab is referred to as
"scrawny" (?!) Still sporting her adorable baby-fat. Made me reflect upon how
nice it was to see healthy, athletic, non-anorexic women on tv for a change.
Fascinating to see the powerful, bold warrior knocked all off-guard and
akilter by the emotions of one little bard. Xena has no defense for this. She
wears her heart, if not upon her sleeveless leathers, then in its proper place
several centimeters above her breast dagger (a 'present' from Gabrielle) for
everyone with eyes to see. Her own, supernaturally blue, cannot hide
her swirling complexity of emotions in the matter--as she watches Gab become
attracted to yet another boy (much nicer and cuter here, a pre-requisite
precursor for the reformulated Perdicus.) Gab weeps at the unbearable heartbreak
of loss and separation, her first taste, it is something she will be no stranger
to. (Gosh, this is actually a moral tale about euthanasia!) And Xena awkwardly,
unused to having the bard in her arms, tries to comfort. Is it the depth of
Gabrielle's sorrow she finds disconcerting or the warm reality of the young
woman seeking solace in her embrace?
Subtext Rating: One-sided but affecting nonetheless
Hooves and Harlots
Centaurs and amazons; a pedestrian title by comparison. The first generally
beloved episode? The introduction of the amazons into what is quintessentially
an amazon mythos. The well-drawn Ephiny and those other clanswomen only fully
fleshed out in the fanfic. Ironically, Gabrielle is back, however, in her femme
mode (the peasant dress) as it seems these eps must have been shown out of
sequence, not in the order they were shot. Still experimenting with her look.
And to foreshadow, Gab almost chooses a staff as a weapon once again and then
will earn one as an amazon, becoming one of the girls by pure gut reaction and
hapless default with her heedless heroic (alliterative homage a la the title)
action, something "only an amazon would do for another amazon." Gab, looking
like Rima the Bird Girl is out of her depth, but she'll grow into the role. Oh
my, how she'll grow into it. Once again Xena is struck full-force by Gab's
bravery and willingness to self-sacrifice. And Xena, as in the fanfic sagas
(where she is also Consort), becomes her Champion. Both princess warriors now.
Moving in the direction of equals. Would've been perfect if they had introduced
Artemis as well (a missed opportunity from which this aspect of the series never
rebounded) with Gab as her Chosen.
Subtext Rating: It's amazons...'nuff said. If it quacks like a...duck.
Gabby's little stick has a powerful kick. Also some very interesting sexual
tension in the interaction between Ephiny and Xena. Eph is definitely attracted,
but what amazon in her right mind wouldn't be?
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The Black Wolf
A run-of-the-mill plot, Spartacus meets Robin Hood, but the inclusion
of Salmoneus makes it fun. "Little Miss Innocent," Gab joins him in the
comic relief for this one. Ah, the lovely styling of the chakram chapeau.
Gab is not a fighter yet, couldn't get arrested for it, despite amazon training,
but plucky and clever. She lost her staff between eps (out of sequence?) but
finds one, sort of, in the big climactic fight. Already it is just plain wrong,
it doesn't feel at all right to see Xena ride in without Gabrielle by her side.
The theme seems to be that 'ya gotta have faith in people,' especially those
that are like sisters to you, even if they keep shifting, like that other Lucy,
the football right out from under you. They may just be raising (or lowering)
the bar and daring you on.
Subtext Rating: Now you see it, now you don't. The subtext here is done with
smoke and mirrors, and points to the first of several significant female
friendships from Xena's past. Any hint of subtext is cast into an aside and
remembered in the nostalgia between Xena and her old girlfriend and former
playmate.
Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
The classic Trojan Horse tail...ur tale retold (revised) Xena-style. Paris is
an ambitious, thoughtless dweeb, Helen an abused woman. A little recasting magic
and the once gruff, unattractive (and far too tall for Gab) character of
Perdicus (see the pilot ep "Sins of the Past") becomes a sympathetic and
likeable guy though definitely hunk-of-the-week fodder for the find-Gabby-a-guy
gristmill of het propriety--but is this calculation or backfire? He will only
last until a second ep which unleashes the inner workings of an almost
series-long arc worthy of any Greek Tragedy and displays for anyone with eyes to
see the true nature of Xena's feelings for her Bard. It's clear Gabby is swept
away by the passion of the moment (there's a war on) and caught up in their
shared history (though she herself is fighting fiercely now with her defensive
staff, she is much saddened at how he's changed, that he could kill out of
revenge and anger...another lost soul, like Xena, for her to reclaim...she can't
say no, it's just her nature) she finds herself in an unexpected position in
reconsidering her childhood friend and arranged-marriage betrothed, one of the
initial reasons she ran away from home. And is she feeling just a little
panicked about the true nature of her growing bond with her taciturn travelling
companion? Impulsively she kisses Perdicus, leaving Xena out in the cold looking
in--and the pain will intensify for her when next they meet.
Subtext Rating: Ouch. How can one little bard inspire such depth of emotion
and heartache? Beware of Greek Boys bearing their souls to impressionable and
empathetic bards. Don't ask, don't tell, Xena knows
all too well. The real gift evoked in the title occurs when Xena goes hungry to give Gab her apple, a
sweet gesture from the former warlord.
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Athens City Academy of Performing Bards
Gab's first act of straying from Xena's side to search for something...else.
An irresistible opportunity to better her bardly skills. And Xena, who had, at
first, been skeptical of the bard as companion (till only partway through the
first ep) looks downright unhappy at the prospect of suddenly losing her. We are
moving into the territory of friends as "family." Though the "you're like a
sister to me" line is completely unworthy of them, even at this early stage. We
already have the childhood friendship of "Black Wolf" and Gab's own sister to
provide female siblings for the girls. Gab is still a wide-eyed kid (even after
Troy?) lusting for the sights of the big city and all the experience life has to
offer, which is why her stay there is brief as she finds herself once again
longing, even more keenly, for the road--and for Xena. This all seems a bit
after-the-fact re Gab's developing skills as a sidekick, but if you gotta do a
'clips show'...this series generally knows how to do one. The teen versions of
Homer (wide-eyed as well and not blind, as rumored) and the pompous Euripides
are charming touches. As are the scenes from old spaghetti gladiator movies and
from the film classic "Spartacus." In adding to the bardic fun, Gab's spirited
stories of Xena, related in co-ed dorm rooms of the ancients where she seems to
be the only female rooming with the guys, serve to display to no one more
clearly than the bard herself just how much she misses her warrior and the
subject of her scrolls, too much to stay away--it is a clear and palpable
longing.
Subtext Rating: Athens makes the heart grow fonder. The little bard realizes
she is incomplete without her warrior (and vice versa).
"A Fistful of Dinars"
An ep you don't hear people talk about very much, but one with some 'very'
interesting twists in the growing subtext tapestry becoming intricately
intertwined within the delicately nuanced performances (the only thing delicate
or nuanced about this show) of the actresses. Gabby finds herself attracted to a
bad boy, one of her partner's former lovers, in fact. Is that why? Partly? Gab
wants to test the boundaries, to boldly go where the true object of her
obsession has gone before. Hey, she's just doing research, right? And Xena is
decidedly upset about it. Xena is full of fury at her former betrothed, not for
being scorned, but because of what he may do to Gabrielle's innocent affections
("You hurt my friend and I'll rip your throat out.") Her personal priorities
have clearly shifted. It is not about him. And when he accuses her of jealousy
in the matter even he is savvy enough to know just where that jealousy is
directed and at whom. He doesn't count, it's Gab she passionately cares about
and will protect at any cost. Unlike most other predictably boring series, it's
not about two women friends attracted to and vying for the same man. Not at all.
Sidelights; the bastard of an assassin will become the guru of "Paradise
Found." A good actor, and he's funny in this. Jeremy Roberts and Renee work well
together as a comedy team here as they worked tantalizingly well together as
partners in yoga later on. The editors used that skull-eye-sockets-spiders shot
in the ep before last. And Gab is without her staff again! Are we out of
sequence once more? She retreats to the background and swings her satchel! Yes,
she is, as the handsome rogue assures her, "very smart, very perceptive, very
beautiful." He's so seductively persuasive that Xena prefers Gab go with the
assassin (!) than with her old flame. But Xena's old boyfriend shows his
enduring and regretful love for her by giving his life for her new partner. Very
touching. Not a bad guy after all.
Subtext Rating: Old vs New Faithful. Simmering just below the surface and
coming to a boil.
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"Warrior...Princess"
The true joke in the midst of this bit of comic mayhem is that Ms. Lawless,
the nonpareil of all women, totally unique and fresh and original, could have a
double?! I wish. I'll take one. Please. As the first in the series of multiple
clones (or clowns) this is the most bearable and, initially excusable, as being
in the grand classic tradition of Greek and Roman theater (the "Twin Menechmi"
of Plautus, e.g.) Once again, it's a nice little fairy tale retelling. Gab
dealing with the girlie version of Xena is both amused and amusing. As is the
real Xena trying to be a 'girl.' "Chakram." "Bless you."
Subtext Rating: Silly, but sincere. Gab likes seeing Xena in more feminine
clothes once in awhile. The first shot of Gabrielle, deep into her romantic poem
to Xena is to sigh for. Gab "fulfills" Xena's "every
whim"...hmm? ("Hey, that's what you're here for.") And "Don't be afraid to speak up when it
happens." Finding that certain someone, that tree in the forest,
that...soulmate... Gee, I think she was speaking up in that establishing shot,
leaning against that tree in the forest (!) and composing a loving tribute to
her heart and soul's inspiration.
"Mortal Beloved"
Marcus returns...as a shade. But it's the last we hear of "the man I love."
Definitely not Xena's most significant relationship on this series. As someone
once pointed out, re later developments, it's like
they blew off almost the
whole first season of the series. (And in Season Five they blew off everything
that went before!)
A vain attempt at making Xena het. It don't play that way. It's the
'friendship' between X&G that drives this series. Stabbing Marcus in the
heart (what symbolism!) after he's given life again is perverse...to say the
least...the ultimate in passion? More lasting than a petite mort. She also stabs
Gabby in Illusia let us remember (or try to forget). What a twisted symbol of
'love'...this Xena woman has a powerfully lethal effect upon her lovers.
The menacing, invisible fiend, super creepy and chilling, threatens Gab and
provides a genuine moment of sheer terror when he appears to have bloodily
overpowered her, still an innocent young thing at this point. Remember what a
good heart she had, gods I miss that. Sigh.
Charon is a dead ringer (sorry, couldn't resist) for Beetlejuice crossed with
Harvey Fierstein. Can that really be the adorable Mich. Hurst under all that
make-up?!
And Xena and Marcus making love by the fire, and just inches away from a
sleeping Gabrielle, is...kinky, Xena, to say the least.
Subtext Rating: Comparisons are odious (but instructive). Every would-be het
relationship just serves to underline the rightness of her being with Gab. Which
duo is left standing (or sitting by a lake with their arms around each other)
together when all is said and done? We end with Xena and steadfast Gab a deux.
The anguish written clearly on Xena's face and in her voice when she thinks Gab
could be dead speaks to the heart of the matter.
Kinky factor--the only time we really know of in the series since meeting Gab
that Xena sleeps with someone else, a man, and while Gab is lying right there,
only a heartbeat and a (heavy) breath, or two, away. But, sigh, think of the way
she tenderly pulls the cover over a soundly sleeping bard.
***********************
"The Royal Couple of Thieves"
"We're a couple of swells." "Anything you can do, I can do better." "Together
wherever we go-o." "Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you in
mid-air..." Send in the Clowns.
Autolycus' first show. Bruce Campbell is a wonderful physical comic. Good
silly fun. Which all of a sudden turns into "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Far too
little Gabby. Though she does show up to good effect just in time to spur Xena's
anguish factor once again, as the damsel in distress. B.C. and LL are a good
comedy team. (But so are LL and ROC). They obviously have fun doing these eps.
ROC does the woman in jep thing so well, she really makes you care about her.
You know just how Xena feels. The battle of the pressure points. They do nicely
choreograph these things.
Subtext Rating: They said it all: "Don't fear the truth, face it."
"The Prodigal"
Can there possibly be anything cuter than Gabrielle looking
for all the world like a faun as she plays the pan pipes? Yet another moment of
truth ep for Gab as she has second thoughts and returns to her village after
freezing up in a dangerous situation. Not because she's frightened for herself,
but because it puts Xena at risk. It's a Personal Journey thing. One Gab has to
make alone, (vacation time for the star?) returning to the bosom of the family,
to the sister she left behind. Gab is quite right in pointing out that she only
has one sister and Xena is not that to her at all...as well we know. Gab's the
most amusing little hitch-hiker since Claudette Colbert raised her hemline and
stopped traffic. Once we get back to the ol' homestead though, we get Meleager
doing Lee Marvin in "Cat Ballou" (didn't these writers ever get an original idea
for a comic ep?) And, since Gab has learned a lot from Xena, for once the WP
does not have to ride in to save the day. It's an object lesson for Gab in
losing her nerve, momentarily, and finding her self-confidence (thanks to the
strong off-stage presence of a certain tall, dark, and deadly warrior). Poor kid
always had a knife at her throat in the first season. When Destiny calls, she
goes off happily, whistling, back to the open road. And Xena just happens to be
on her way to 'visit.' More like hanging around hang-dog lonesome till the
little bard returns.
Subtext Rating: "You know how to whistle, don't you? Just put your lips
together and blow."
********************
"Altared States"
Karl Urban's first villain. ROC's delightful tour de force 'drunk' scene. "By
the gods, you are beautiful!" Putting the bible where it belongs, firmly in the
realm of myth. A nice twice-told tale retelling. The names have been changed to
protect the not entirely innocent. There are several fun things in this ep, not
least of which is the opening double-entendre sequence... skinny-dipping.
Classic clothes scattered travel shot, obviously hurriedly removed. And the
falling down and climbing out of the well sequence. "Lovin' every minute of it."
Great shot of ROC's hand firmly on LL's thigh. Gab makes such an adorable sot,
more amusing yet since she is obviously a very sober young woman. Xena is
magnificent climbing out of the well with Gab wrapped around her. And rising
from the pond in all her (vividly imagined) glory. Henbane. Interesting
high.
Subtext Rating: Wink, wink, nudge, nudge...and pass the nutbread, please. A
little henbane will loosen your tongue, my pretty. Yes, strong subtext here,
playful at the start with the skinny dipping scene and with that typical loving
travel shot over the seemingly hastily discarded clothes...but this is one of
those 'having fun with it' early subtext moments they've both alluded to from
time to time, when they weren't so sure they were going to take it seriously and
just threw that double entendre (especially in the naughty voice-overs) in there
for fun. But, much more to the point and handled with such fresh gentility and
genuine ebullient emotion, is the totally, delightfully intertwined climb up the
rope (lovin' every minute of it indeed, so were we!) and the Gabby zonked out on
nutbread gods you're beautiful reverie.
What I love is Xena's reaction to Gab's sudden drug-induced revelation of
Xena's beauty...mmhm, I could take advantage of this, but I wouldn't do that,
or, oh my, I've got my hands full with this little bard alright. They did play
that well scene so, well...'well,' dammit, didn't they? Wonder how long it took
to film that? How long they had to cling to each other. Got to know each other
well (hah) enough by that time, didn't they? They were both very comfortable
with each other here. Renee just went all the way with the comedy of being
stoned out of her mind. I miss that callow young (and amusing) Gabby. Sigh.
As my dear friend fluff so sagely and succinctly put it re Gab's drug induced
moment of supreme honesty: "She may have been under the influence, but it's
clear her statement was sincere. The scene in the well: Have we ever seen Xena
and Gab's bodies so intertwined as in this scene? And neither was shy about the
physical contact here. Then there's the evil brother's statement to incite the
crowd against Xena.
He talks about how 'unnatural' it is that Xena has the strength of ten men,
then goes on to add to his reasons why Xena is 'unnatural,' that she travels
around accompanied only by 'her scrawny companion.' The whole little speech has
exactly the tone and feeling one would expect of a narrow-minded bigot talking
about a lesbian he didn't like--and I'm sure the fact that it comes across that
way was exactly what Manheim intended."
"Ties That Bind"
The daughter also rises. Xena's 'father' is introduced. This time it's Gab
trying to selflessly say goodbye...so her partner can reconnect. Tommy Atkins is
a good casting choice as the warrior's da. This one I figured out. [Spoiler
here. That he's really Ares...but isn't that 'really' the case anyway? What we
thought we may have found out at the beginning of the great season long arc of
year three in "The Furies?"] Even though they cheated and have Ares in two
places at once. Can he do that? He's a god, but he's not omnipotent, for god's
sake. Good-hearted Gab standing up to Xena, even striking her, and getting
through the madness of blind rage, and even though Ares loves to push buttons
and often knows just what cards to play, Xena figures it out again and beats
him. But not without her faithful companion who will not leave her dark side
manifest no matter what. Gab is magnificent, feisty as hell and fearless, she
has a great role model.
Subtext Rating: The moral of the story--we are 'family'--I got my sister with
me. Yes, "stronger than blood ever could." The ties that bind them.
********************
"The Greater Good"
A classic. A truly great ep. Starts out as a comedy, gets darkly deadly
serious. Dealing with loss, or not being able to deal. Speaking of role
models--Gab comes into her own masquerading as Xena. (Callisto's intro via
poison dart and shots of flesh clad in leather.) Gab is too cute in Xena's
outfit. She comes back brimming with self-confidence and finds Xena gone. And
mourns her so beautifully and quietly. What a touching, heartbreaking scene.
Perfectly played. On pure instinct. And then takes her staff and goes alone into
the woods and loses it. Magnificently. As fiery as her hair is red (in this ep).
She really gets her Irish up. This is, obviously to anyone watching, a very
special relationship. Salmoneus sees it clearly and tries to temper the apparent
soul-tearing depth of the blow, gently urges the onlookers aside so that these
women may have their last moment of privacy. These two love each other very
deeply. It's a beautiful thing. We know they'd do anything for each other.
"Going to get all soft on you." "Wouldn't want that, would we?"
Subtext Rating: Speak loudly and carry a big stick. Size doesn't matter, it's
knowing what to do with it. Your beloved partner dies, you whack the living hell
out of the nearest tree. With a passion usually preserved for...well, passion.
"Callisto"
She's bad. She's scary. She's psychotic. And we love her for it! What a good
bad girl she is. No one else quite like her, huh? The show went south when she
went good. A savage introduction for a savage character. Oh, and we also meet
Joxer. But enough about that. Gabrielle has learned a thing or two at this
point, she's delightful to watch as she guards Xena's back, constantly moving
behind her, the trusting W.P. perfectly still in foreground close-up. Also
inspiring when she beats the snot out of you know who with her widdle staff.
Now, that's the relationship between unequals in its proper place. Some more
serious s&m in the X/C 'relationship'... already in this first episode
Callisto is asking Xena to kill her and is enraged when she survives.
Subtext Rating: Campfire girls. Sigh. A significant scene, that heart to
heart by the blaze. One of the best scenes they've played together. Some genuine
human emotion there...few and far between these days...and pure tenderness.
"Promise me." They bring each other to tears. We see Xena's "weakness" in the
situation with Callisto, the kidnapping of Gabrielle. Xena rescues the fair
maiden in distress. How ironic, then, in "Crusader" when Xena pretends to hoist
Gab with burning rope to put Najara off balance. Even Xena still learns from
experience. "People like us should listen to people like Gabrielle." That's what
is sorely lacking in the near non-existent humanity of the show in later days.
==============
"Death Mask"
Xena's brother. Remember him? Whatever happened to him? He was remarkably
well cast. Tall, dark, handsome, penetrating blue eyes...yes, sis bore a
startling resemblance to him! They could've been twins. He complements and
matches her perfectly. When I idly wonder, I tend to wonder why this character,
and another fascinating one like Velasca, were never invited back (instead of
way too much of certain other characters...you know who I mean). At least he
provided some good background development on Xena's destiny shaping battle with
Cortes and the current sublimation of her once unquenchable thirst for revenge.
Subtext Rating: "Touching." It's the little things. The looks, the asides,
sweet little moments like Gab touching Xena's arm ever so lightly when she
leaves her with her brother for a family discussion. "She's doing to you what
she did to our village," Toris tells Gab. In any other series they would've
definitely made some move to have Gabrielle enamored of Xena's bro and vice
versa. But not here, bless 'em. "She's brave because that's the way she is," he
states with admiration, but Gab shows him (and us) exactly who has her full and
undivided attention.
"Is There A Doctor in the House?"
Do we love this ep, or what? This was the one, the ep that all but enshrined
the intensity of the depth of feeling at the heart of that relationship. A very
fitting coda to that first fine season. A meaningful ep (remember when they
still did those unashamedly?), the powerful sense memory of which can still
bring tears to Lucy's eyes as well as ours. And we learn that Xena taught Galen
and Hippocrates all they know about medicine--and invents CPR to boot. In pure
frantic desperation to save Gabrielle. Xena is almost naked in revealing the
true depths of her feelings for the young bard. If ever LL deserved an Emmy, it
was for this scene. A better resuscitation scene I've never seen played on any
doctor show, though usually such a cliché, this one was, and remains, riveting.
So pale and frail and fragile and vulnerable is Gabrielle and Xena so ruefully
brought to tears, "so sorry," the strong warrior brought to her knees by the
girl's side, blaming herself for her companion's fatal wounding. But, with the
heart and determination to drag her back from the other side and never let go.
Gab's insightful storytelling to the general (excellently played), is heartfelt,
beautifully delivered. You can see the old soldier's heart melt. This was the
series at its best. A direction and accomplishment of which they should never
have lost sight.
Subtext Rating: You'll never know if you don't know now. Watch Xena's raw,
unguarded interplay with the safely catatonic bard, her increasing unwillingness
to let go of her young friend, the hurt disbelief and anguish that this gift
could be taken from her, and the sheer bloody determination to reach inside, to
breathe her own life-force into the silenced bard, the transcendent elation and
joy when Gabrielle is returned to her. It can indeed move mountains.
"Orphan of War"
Solon. Palpable tension between X&G at first. Why didn't you tell
me? You had a son. A poignant ep. ("I could sing for you," the warrior
suggests sorrowfully with little hope that she can ever be free to just play
mommy and me.) The villain Dagnon (though painfully, that's gotta hurt,
impaled), the Ixion Stone, Motherhood (with a capital M) will all come back to
haunt us (and them). A melancholy, sad and serious ep to begin a new season. The
tragic seeds are emplanted for a series long arc of passionate misunderstandings
and painful denouements.
Subtext Rating: The sub also rises..."I pride myself on being your
friend...I'm here for you." "Always." They put so much into a glance, the way
they look and smile at each other. It's an intimacy they share with no one
else. The outward evidence of the chemistry that got them into this thing in the
first place.
"Remember Nothing"
What if...? If Xena had not been there that day to rescue Gabrielle from the
slavers. If she'd opted for a domestic life, not been forced to play the
warrior. You gain something, you lose something. Her beloved younger brother
lives and breathes again as a fine young man, but her mother is deceased...and
there's no Gabrielle in her life. Or so they'd tricked me into believing during
the first part of this clever, heartbreaking ep. This particular story is as
fine an alternate time tale as anything put forward by Star Trek: TNG in its
heydey. It is their destiny to meet in any lifetime, no matter what. Seeing the
tough, angry, embittered exterior of this alternate Gabrielle for the first time
is soul-shattering--for us as well as for Xena. We see a side of the sunny bard
that, at this juncture, we never thought we'd see, surly and sour on life. Their
scenes together are passionately heart aching. ROC gives a wonderful
performance, she earned that co-star billing she began receiving full credit for
a few eps back in this second season. This is one of the better versions of the
'Wonderful Life' scenario attempted by most series. Xena was born to be a
warrior. She never would've been happy married to that simpering fool, wearing a
dress, and staying put in Amphipolis.
Subtext Rating: You must remember this...(a sai is just a sai). Xena gives up
her brother's life for Gabrielle, for the girl she knew and has come to love.
She simply cannot live with the responsibility of killing the bard's soul and
twisting her spirit by having not been there for her. To save her from the
physical abuse that warped her nature. Xena makes a definite, considered choice.
Taking the burden once more upon her own battered soul. She cannot bear the
sight of Gabrielle killing without remorse. Those were the days, huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Giant Killer"
One of several eps in which the writers showed surprising temerity in placing
the bible in retrospect perspective as myth alongside all of the other myths of
western culture. Goliath. Davy. Slingshot. Fall down, go boom. Behind every
great man (and event and invention and discovery) is the archetypal woman,
W-o-m-a-n, also spelled X-e-n-a.
Subtext Rating: It's the little things... The memorable moment when Gab
berates herself for being interested in David and then immediately goes to find
Xena. For solace. They stand and watch the storm brew as they clasp and grasp
hands like drowning women, holding on for dear life. Perfect comfort,
understanding and love. Which will always be within reach for both of them. The
seemingly unnecessary close-up of their hands entwined has an erotic urgency,
intensity and power to it. Gab looks as though she wants to reclaim that hand
again at story's end. For more than a little comfort. David is placed in proper
perspective as a "friend"...then what of the term "best friend," does it then
become a code word?
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
Yeehah. GJWHF An acronym we know by heart. One of almost everyone's favorite
eps. A great Halloween tale.
Subtext Rating: Nothing but sub. They just wanna. From the bard's sensual
setting of the scene to the obvious dyke duo with whom she shares a sensuous
dance to the lusty eager request of her partner to, "Do it, Gabrielle." Bite me.
How ingenious to reformulate the god of lustful exuberance and excess as an
immortal vampire and his bacchae as the brides of Dracula. Feral-eyed babes.
Those seductive sapphic sisters who draw our innocent little Gabrielle with
their siren song. True, the relatively harmless god of wine and pleasurable good
times is translated into something more akin to the traditional devil than even
that which we saw in the series' christian mythos era, but the vampire analogy
is a fascinating one, especially in light of the more than merely symbolic
lesbian overtones. Xena and Gabby, the vampire slayers come to prevail only by
giving themselves over to the wild debauch in one of the series' most sensual
scenes. Soul sisters in a purely orgasmic response. The first out and out
blatant eroticism we were given in their relationship. Xena displays her now
absolute trust in Gabrielle by allowing herself to be taken by her as bacchae.
Yummy. What a formidable pair of sister vamps. Orpheus points out to Xena: "Your
selfish desires." Enumerate and elucidate please. Gabrielle gives great neck, a
real tongue twister and fangs for the memory.
*********************
"Return of Callisto"
With a vengeance.
On a sudden impulse Gabrielle decides to marry her formerly arranged
betrothed from her old homestead. He has changed (literally, though transformed
by his loathing of the Trojan War in which he fought, he is played by a
different actor than the rude bumpkin from the pilot ep from whom Gab was, quite
understandably, running away) and Gab, always the nurturer, figures he needs her
more than Xena...and since he's the one declaring himself... Really, the poor
boy, though sweet, is just a plot device. They had to get rid of Gab's pesky
virginity. And in a 'nice' way. But, like all spouses of a lead heroic figure,
he is already condemned as surely as any expendable Red Shirt. Re-enter the
psychopathic Callisto bent on revenge. And we have the series' first major
tragedy.
Subtext Rating: ROC rocks RoC. Or verse-a vice. Will the real love story
please declare itself? Gab simply felt that he needed her more. And she needs to
be needed. But the "now I know what love is" line has to be dealt with as well
(one might say that since Gab talked about Xena on her wedding night that
Perdicus 'understood' and was accepting of her in all her facets and, thus, the
prompt to acknowledge the complete and unconditional thing that love really is,
'cause I sure don't think Gab was talking about sex at that point)...
Interesting, the way they had her say to him that she'd never been with a "man"
before. Then the "have you?" is rather curious, with a beat before she adds
"with a woman"...almost a subliminal same sex ref. Yeah, Gab needs to be needed
and Xena is, at worst, sullen and aloof and pushes her away (for her own good)
and tried hard to fight the physical attraction at times (because of Gab's age?
and innocence). Gab felt protective toward him just as Xena feels towards
her--the relationship seems much more fraternal than what X&G have. Xena is
devastated by her 'best friend' marrying. Clearly read upon her features, the
impassive mask she attempts vainly to keep in place while saying goodbye to her
bard, is the war she wages within herself to reveal her true feelings. And can't
we all identify with that? Curious that all Gab can seem to talk about on the
wedding night is Xena (as Brunnhilde would later complain: "Is Xena all you ever
think about?!"). There's a clue for ya, Perdy boy.
Xena, kissing Gabrielle goodbye, at the paltry ceremony with only two friends/witnesses in attendance is
maid of honor and gives the bride away (the very last thing she wants to do) and
Joxer is best man (no comment--though I'm biting my tongue)--that kiss is more
filled with love and passion than Gab and Perd's perfunctory ceremony ending
peck. And the way Xena says, "Goodbye, Gabrielle" with such finality (and it
won't be the last time), her heart is clearly breaking. You know she intends
never to return because she just cannot bear it. It is written in her face, her
body language, her expression, her voice. It could not be stated with greater
clarity. Gab's angry defiance in goading the WP to teach her to fight with a
sword to avenge her husband of one night's murder by the deliciously twisted
Callisto is one of their finest and most passionate moments of interaction on
screen together. As with so much in the chemistry between these two, it has an
undeniably sexual intensity. Xena's prayer to the chaste goddess moon
(Artemis/Diana, in effect) is one of the series' most poignant and beautifully
heartfelt moments. Only for her dear beloved best friend's soul and pain will
the proud and godless warrior kneel and humble herself. The love story in this
ep was not between Gabrielle and Perdicus.
"Warrior...Princess...Tramp"
Two Xenas were apparently not enough in the prequel to this silly, but fun,
ep. The sole purpose of which seems designed to keep the star from getting
bored, to give her some room to play around and do comedy and different
characters (or display differing aspects of her personality?) As the demure
Princess Diana and the vulgar, sex-crazed Meg (the future wife of Joxer and
mother to Virgil), LL defines the other characters very well so you can always
tell them apart quite easily. But, it's Gab who's perhaps most amusing (and
adorable when angry) reigning (or reining) in maddening confusion when she finds
herself unjustly consigned to a cell by someone she believes to be her partner.
The whole bloody thing is anarchic in the extreme and confusing--in the best
tradition of classical (and I do mean Classical--going back to Greece and Rome)
comedy, filled with mistaken identity and other farcical business.
Subtext Rating: Peel me a grape. "Eat the fruit, baby." Cat fight. Always a
substitute for something else...you know what. Mashing Gab's face into the plate
of juicy grapes and then rolling around on the floor together. Followed by a
sweet heart to heart with Meg. As ME would sing, "Somebody bring me some water"!
It's hot in here, I'm burnin' alive. Joxer becomes Cassandra the woeful prophet
when he says, "I'm wrecking one of the great friendships." He did his worst. But
for an accident of birth we never would've seen him. I like Gab's take to Joxer
better in response to his mistaken assumption that Xena is coming on to him.
"Impossible. You're not her type." She knows from where she speaks of course.
**************
"Intimate Stranger"
The dream within the dream within the dream=nightmare. The real Gab would
never say those awful things to her partner. Our first clue that they weren't
playing by the rules here. A perverse ep. Turns everything around and upside
down. The old switcheroo. LL has Hudson down. So to speak. Taunting Gab--"Little
girl." It has real sexual tension. Callisto in Xena's body is pure predator. To
what does the title refer? It implies a relationship. A very close relationship.
That would be X&G since Callisto is the stranger in intimate waters. So to
speak. It also implies a sexual relationship. One of intimacy. "She's my little
friend now." And all that implies. Xena and Callisto are vixens fighting over
Gabrielle at one point. But Gab could never really get used to the switch,
looking at the face of the psycho who killed her husband. Oh, what a tangled
web...
Subtext Rating: Definition: intimate adj 1: very close in friendship or
affection; "a bosom buddy"; "an intimate friendship" 2: involved in a sexual
relationship; "the intimate (or sexual) relations" [syn: {sexual}]
One Raised Eyebrow, Way Up. A really very kinky ep. (Which has also spawned
some kinky spin-off fanfic). Gotta quote Melissa E. again: "Not so black and
white/the color of your sin/Take a walk inside my shoes/a path I didn't
choose/Spend the night inside of my skin...I coulda been you/you coulda been
me/one small change that shapes your destiny"
"Ten Little Warlords"
Lucy's little vacation. With Xena still in Callisto's body, there's a
certain...tension between her and Gabrielle. And she still has that patented
Callisto blood-curdling scream--if there was an award for scream queens she
would win the Golden Uvula. That girl has a knack for extreme behavior.
Supposedly Hudson kept asking Renee, 'WWLD'? (What would Lucy do?) This ep gave
Hudson and Kevin (Ares) a chance to play nice and behaaave. Gab: beautiful when
angry. The more than usually feisty (due to the loss of Ares' godhood provoking
a sudden rush of testosterone poisoning in the population) bard is ready to beat
the snot out of Joxer and, dammit, that's just the way we like it.
Subtext Rating: Beaches. Gab's anger has some sexual tension in it -- "Get
your hands off of me." When Xena finds out that Ares "had' her when Callisto was
in her body she shudders and desires nothing more than a nice hot cleansing bath
(Gabby, stoke up the fire under the hottub). That little transition back to form
and walk along the beach together at the end...sigh. All's right with the known
world once again.
===========================
"A Solstice Carol"
Every show has to do an Xmas story. Seems to be a WGA rule. Write by the
numbers. Phone it in. Usually based on the granddaddy of all such tales, "A
Christmas Carol." This one seemed more like a rather silly first season ep. But
is increasingly endearing upon further viewings. Good trivia question: what did
Gabby name the donkey? And that jolly old elf...Sentacles. But the First Family
traveling under the Xmas Star is a bit too precious since we are very B.C. here.
And, clearly, we see the pagan roots of Xmas and all its trappings. Gab invents
something for a change!...the hula hoop.
Subtext Rating: The Greatest Gift. We'll see that gift again another year
down the road. All Xena could afford to give her, something she had cherished as
a child, her only possession which she then will pass on to her daughter.
"Gabrielle, you are a gift to me." Are those the sweetest words ever spoke by
warrior to bard?
"The Xena Scrolls"
Indy Jones a la ROC. Janice and Melinda. The two gals who spawned more uber
than any other incarnated versions of our girls. Gab in butch drag as a tough
little cookie who knows how to bogart a stogie/Xena in femme drag as a softly
accented southern belle...and Joxer in French drag a la "Casablanca" by way of
Clouseau. What a fun and frothy confection which holds a special place in my
heart as my first Xena ep viewed. The sense of anarchic play and the well-chosen
flashbacks (this was the way to do a "clips" show), especially the highly
subtextual "Dr. in the House," galvanized my attention and assured I would come
back for more. Turnabout/fair play. Jan defends Mel's honor ("No way to treat a
lady.") They walk off into the desert sunset together. True myths. Some things
never change.
Subtext Rating: "Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?" Cigar, fedora,
whip, pistol. Sigh...
============
"Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis"
A really very subversive ep, but all silliness on the surface. It's a mini
version of "La Cage" with its underlying socio content. Boys will be girls and
girls don't necessarily have more fun as sex objects. And the drag queen, though
perhaps more macho than Salmoneous, is actually more feminine than either Xena
or Gab! (who looks like a sore thumbelina in her glossy little numba). Does LL
(undercover vying for "Miss Known World") seem to lose IQ points in direct
proportion to the lightening of her hair? "And they all went to the seashore."
--(Melina Mercouri in "Never on Sunday")
Subtext Rating: Miss Congeniality. Will the real Drama Queen please step
forward? Gab's reaction to the apparent woman to woman kiss mirrors that of the
mostly male audience--momentarily stunned...and then...cheering for it. Right on
the mouth.
********************
Ah, could there be two better classic episodes with which to say farewell to
the series in remembering what it was at its very best...
"Destiny"
The elegant lyrical elegiac beginning to a three part arc that sets the
backdrop for much of the tragedy as well as the depth of this love in which they
find themselves inextricably bound. In a pivotal role, the suave Karl Urban is
superb as Caesar. Sensually written and directed by the star's husband with such
memorably teasing dialogue as: "Some enemies are harder than others." "Oh, I
count on it." (And they named their son Julius...) The mysterious M'lila's
rescue of the woman pirate who appears to steal her heart is matched in 'the
present' by Gabrielle, severely wounded, displaying such stalwart bravery in
endurance, carrying her gravely ill partner to the snow covered mountains in a,
for now, vain attempt to save her life. The music is mystical and moving, almost
hynoptic. The first crucifixion. Xena's mangled legs. Caesar's callous betrayal.
Which also sets his particular destiny (in this universe or any other) into its
inevitable collision course.
Subtext Rating: Embrace your Destiny. The depth of emotion in the grieving
Gabrielle's mourning scene is a thing of terrible beauty to behold along with
the exquisitely cut montage of floating images (all tender relationship moments
from Xena's all too brief past with Gabrielle) flashing before Xena's dying eyes
as she hears the extraordinary words of love her bard needs to tell her...now
when it appears to be too late. As with the bard herself on her deathbed in "Is
There A Doctor In The House"... 'Don't leave me'..."I need you." Could anything
more clearly say that these women love each other? (Yes, the next episode.)
===========================
"The Quest"
The reports of Xena's death (and imminent immolation) were somewhat
exaggerated. If the bard could come back from the other side to rejoin her
warrior the least Xena can do is find a way to conquer death itself to return to
her bard. Especially now...when they both realize just how much...
Bruce Campbell's best performance of the series hands down (which is just where
Autolycus should keep them if he knows what's good for him). Equal parts "All of
Me," "Ghost," and a romantic beautifully realized story of love and devotion.
And along with the internecine amazon politics, the great physical comedy, the
stoic widowed bravery of our bard preparing to take the amazon mantle of
authority while she mourns the loss of the other half of her soul...it's a
multi-layered tour de force.
Subtext Rating: "You don't have to say a word." (Exactly.) When Xena says
Gabrielle's name it's like a caress. Almost like a fever dream it springs itself
on our (and Gabrielle's) senses...The Kiss--when I knew I wasn't imagining it
and they weren't kidding with the subtext, that it was really there and
really...real. The scene is a bit of a tease, but there's no mistaking the
implications. One of the most romantic and seminal (you'll pardon the
paternalistic expression) moments in tv history. Iolaus when he pops up in cameo
is hardly Gab's soulmate at this point (but we know who is, don't we?), just a
friend to whom she entrusts her sorrow and regret at not having spoken of the
love she felt for her warrior. That little revivifying nugget of ambrosia,
nicely warmed, from Gabby's bosom, the body that Xena inhabited for a breathless
spate of moments... And it was very good. "Warm and loving." This is the
definitive subtext ep. Ending with a lingering loving two-shot. X&G. Side by
side by...sigh.
"A Necessary Evil"
A surprisingly fun, for all its frenetic action,
follow-up to certain events in "The Quest," even through the drama of
amazonian political machinations (it's Florida all over again...Velasca
demands a recount) and Gab's fear/flight reaction to being targeted and
Xena's very protective hurt/comfort mode ("Sacrificing you is not part of
the plan! Not even close.") and Callisto's nasty, naughty ("We played a
game of truth-or-dare. She's not very good at it.") switch-hitting
turn as enemy/ally as she drips innuendoes by the campfire (does that
woman just ooze sexual tension like a pheromone based cologne, or
what?) Callisto is freed from Tartarus in the season three Hercules
ep "Surprise." In that ep she becomes immortal as well as
trapped and scarred. The Herc ep explains
how Callisto came back to life after
RoC ("Return of Callisto") when she had
apparently 'drowned' in the
sandpit (uncharacteristically begging Xena to
save her in a turnabout
of the scene in the classic novel "Lorna Doone"
wherein the hero attempts to avenge his wife, stabbed on their wedding day,
by riding down the former suitor and then trying to rescue him from
quicksand while he slaps the would-be savior's hand aside...now, that
would've been more in keeping with Callisto's frame of mind.) We do find her
in the burned out remains of the labyrinth of the gods,
however...with
her pet rat, Hercules. Fascinating, knowing how
Gabrielle has every reason
to hate Callisto and yet feels for her
just the same when she sees her
visibly moved by Xena's public
confession of her crime. At least Artemis is
finally mentioned in
this one, but, appropriately for this series, as an
absentee landlady
to the tribe. Velasca is almost as scary as
Callisto...wonder why she
didn't warrant a resurrection from that lava pit.
Good villanesses
are hard to find, and, apparently, to keep.
Subtext Rating: All-girl Romp. That's some sorority...and what an
initiation ceremony! Lightning bolts, whirlwinds, falling bridges,
falling rocks, bungee jumps, hot lava... "Does an Amazon Queen beat a
Warrior Princess?" Only if she wants her to. But I think Callisto and
Velasca would be more into that. Anyway...they take the plunge
together... into that hot lava. While our heroine rescues the bard
once again..."Don't let go. I'm coming. Hold onto me." For
sure. "Let's do it."
"A Day in the Life"
Still the favorite episode of many a fan, and with good reason.
Perhaps, the only truly flawless show in the series. Ingeniously
devised, beautifully
scripted (by R.J.), skillfully directed (by
Michael Hurst), playfully
performed. It didn't get any better than
this. Underplaying comedy works
wonders. When eager beaver Howar asks
with hopeful puppy dog eyes if Xena
would ever consider settling down
and getting married, Gab's proprietary
little Freudian slip shows
when she quips from lips that seem to run away
with her: "No, she
likes what I do--" Fwap. Freudian symbol for dinner,
baby. Cook 'em up. Furthermore, Xena invents the kite and discovers
electricity. One serious moment re the 'win one for the gipper,' uh, giant,
Goliath speech, come back with your kite, not on it. The ending is sweet,
and funny, and priceless. A quick kiss, filled with tender affection from
the excited little bard. Did Xena let her...or not? Hit her with the
staff, that is. Did anyone see Minya at the Melissa Etheridge
concert?
{Note: in the script of ADITL Minya's character is
introduced by comparison
to Rosie O'Donnell! as "the ultimate fan"}
Subtext Rating: Woke up, got outta bed...dragged a cooking utensil
across someone's head... We cannot only cook with your juices, but we
can slowly simmer in the most memorable hot tub scene in TV series
history. Truly, a High Water Mark! Bliss. You got this close, rubbing
fingers together,
because I let you...oh yeah...and that's not the
soap you're sitting on...
"Going to bed."
"For Him the Bell Tolls"
Another ep where Lucy takes off, Renee handles
it. What would Xena
do? The Lone Sidekick. The first Cupid episode. Karl
Urban unrecognizable as a punk Eros. Love the funky wings. Joxer the
Mighty. Gab tries to play the opposite of matchmaker to great comedic
effect. And when he kisses Gab..."That was scary." Really.
Actually, this is one of Ted Raimi's best eps...even though it is
purely an "homage" to (or rip-off of) the delightful Danny Kaye
classic "The Court Jester."
Subtext Rating: Let me count the ways.
Gabby is perplexed. "Jealous love.
Unrequited love. Tragic love."
All of the above. "Don't fight the heart,
Gabrielle. It's a powerful little muscle." Mmmhmm. "Love is soft and gentle,
not cruel." "You don't know much about love." She'll learn.
"The Execution"
Gab's old childhood hero, a braggadocio with feet of clay
is about to be hanged for murder and X&G seem to be on opposite sides of
the law concerning his fate. The expression on Xena's face when a determined
Gabrielle stands up to her brandishing her staff is revelatory. You'd
actually fight moi?! Gab's a great advocate to have on your side.
Tenacious. But she can be a fierce opponent. And stubborn. But she
turns out to be right in this instance. And Xena is the culprit.
Meleager didn't kill the guy. "Because I did." The killing happened
when Gab was in Athens.
Gab is such a little hero worshipper. Xena
comes to respect the erstwhile
hero and his paternal affection for
her bard. "People in our line of work
never get to be that age." A
poignant thought even a-way back then, but a
self-fulfilling prophecy
we thought would never actually come true.
Subtext Rating: Don't brandish that thing unless you're prepared to
use it.
Such palpable tension in the disagreement between X&G. Their first
real tiff. Was anything between these two ever less than passionate?
"Blind Faith"
This is surely the best thing critical and criticized
director Josh Becker contributed to the series. A measure of Xena's devotion
to Gabrielle, Xena is ennobled in her blindness. Willing to go blind
permanently to get to Gabrielle in time. The kid is beautiful in
blue.
And the cleavage. Amazing. And the flaming Pygmalion
reminiscent of Salmoneous who sidekicks hunky bad boy gone good at
the end is pure camp.
Silly elements in an ep with a heart. This one
always reminds me that there
ain't no mountain high enough to get to
where you are. (To mix musical
styles.)
Subtext Rating: "That must be some friend."
"I'd give my life to save her." She means it. And the self-revelation
on her features when she says it is very, well, revealing. Is this
the first time she's given voice to the depth of her love? Gab is the
damsel in distress here. Rescued at the last minute, in the nick of
time. By her warrior. The little catch in her voice when she says
Gabrielle and in Gabrielle's when she notices Xena's eyes. The hunk
is embarrassed, has to
turn away from their deeply felt emotional
intimacy. He knows. So do we.
Now.
"Ulysses"
Quality time--the girls together at the beginning of this ep.
But the hero is a bore. What would a woman like Xena see in him? Yawn. Xena
outsings the Sirens. Pissed off Poseidon. Gab is so cute when she's
seasick. This is the last (and only the second) man Xena was serious
about. I don't include Draco. Or the con man. Been an amazingly spare
dance card considering. But they know what we really like... I don't
hate this ep as much as some of y'all seem to--since it clearly
showed an unattractive and boring man totally unworthy of Xena,
especially compared to Gab. And the ep has some serious subtext.
Subtext Rating: "I need to know."
"You're part of my heart." "Gabrielle, you've been so good for
me--teaching--love." Gabrielle is not jealous, nor threatened for a
moment by Xena's attraction to the legendary hero--she knows where
she stands in Xena's affections. If X had sex with U than she did it
for the second time kinkily with Gab sleeping nearby. Xena is still
attempting to resist her attraction to Gab. It's abundantly clear at
this point. Part of my heart is another way of saying, where you go,
I go (or whither thou
goest...). Xena assumes even if she is
attracted to a particular man that
Gab will still remain by her side
with the inclusive "we." Interesting
arrangement. But, of course, a
disservice to the truth and beauty of their
relationship, firmly
established in previous eps. If this is the het
nonpareil then Gab is
the only viable reality or rational solution. When
Xena uses the word
love in relation, mostly, to what she's found with Gab,
the bard fairly pounces upon it, her face lighting up at the thought of it.
This coming after Gab has overheard suggestive murmurings between her
friend and the legendary hero and looks as though she's overheard the
love of her life slipping away from her, who then goes to Xena and faces
her with a very direct, "I need to know." An odd thing for a
mere friend to say to another. That's clearly lovers' talk and that
was how ROC played it.
I'd always thought LL was the keeper of the
subtext, but ROC has had her own
shining moments when she steps up to
the plate and hits it right out of the
park. Bless you, darlin'
"The Price"
What savage beauty. From the wild, careening opening aerial shot of
NZ's winding waterways to the frightening realization of a seemingly
implacable foe. The Horde. Ugly mothers. The same director (Oley
Sassone) would also use that "Apocalypse Now" shot in "The Debt."
Beginning with laid-back fishing hole humor and quickly turning to
non-stop, break-neck, fast and furious, deadly earnest adventure this
is a memorable ep. Gabrielle thinks Xena has gone battle lust bonkers
and reverted to type, which sets up one of their rare confrontations
and battle of wills, but we can plainly see what is really
happening...she will do
anything, whatever it takes to keep her bard
alive.
Subtext Rating: Slip of the...tongue. She almost says it... Xena
almost comes out in this ep. When she's kneeling by Gabrielle's side
as they tend to a wounded soldier and Lucy either ad libs or gives a
great reading of
scripted ellipses... "You don't know how much I
love...that." She'd almost
said "you" and bit it back for whatever
reason. Xena just couldn't be the
first one of them to admit it aloud
to the viewer. That would be for the
bard to do.
============
"Lost Mariner"
A heartfelt dissertation on the depths of love.
Gabrielle's initial desolation at being parted from her partner in a
maelstrom is alleviated by the wondrous sight of her warrior battling to
reach the enchanted vessel which has rescued the bard, a bittersweet pride
and awe in the fact that in so doing Xena will, too, and, knowingly,
become a victim of the curse which will never allow them to leave the
ship. Xena makes the sacrifice without a moment's hesitation and even
the grizzled old sailor boys recognize true love and devotion when
they see it. When Cecrops describes his grand passion we know that
must be the way Xena feels about another woman with green eyes. "It's
the love I feel...
The love you have for Gabrielle. Would you risk
your life for her?"
Subtext Rating: "I figured it out." The ship that launched a thousand
faces. The range of expression and emotion on Gabrielle's face as she
watches Xena do everything in her considerable power to get to her
aboard ship is a study in admiration, desire, somewhat selfish guilt,
wonder that her warrior is doing it all for her, willing to be with
her under any circumstances come what may. She knows Xena will not be
deterred.
Telling her not to come isn't even an option.
"A Comedy of Eros"
The opening shots of Karl Urban, unrecognizable as
Caesar here, as the
winged punky God of Love cooing to the mischievous cherub
are some of the few utterly precious and adorable moments in series
history. A merry mix-up in the classic tradition. Xena falls for Draco, Gab
for Joxer (smelling salts please) aka "pookie," Draco for Gab... And it goes
on and on and around and around and just when you think you're going
to puke--
Subtext Rating: Puleeze... Yes, we can all quibble (or groan, or
threaten a thousand deaths, or gnash our teeth and tear our hair) when
Jerxer comes between our girls quite literally, maddeningly (in an
agonizing slo-mo tease yet), and that babylove arrow of cupidity meant
for them alone (not that they
needed it). The title IS a parody of The
Comedy of ERRORS afterall. But
Draco, of all people, sees the truth,
though blinded by the light of love for
Gabrielle himself, and cuts to
the chase: when Xena asks him if he would risk
killing "the woman you
love," he throws it back in her face--"The question
is, would you?"
What? The reference is to the "Woman" you love... He's a
smart enough cookie to size up his competition...and, as we know, he already
knows Xena...
============
"The Furies"
The Madness of Princess Xena. Those flaky fandancing Furies put
the fix in with Ares to mess with Xena's mind. Another episode that
Lucy deserved an emmy for. She fearlessly goes way over the top on
the comedic mad scenes, but
beautifully underplays the tragic hero
tones.
The expression in her eyes, the
devastation written on her face
when she listens in utter stillness to
her mother's tale of her father's death
and when she contemplates suicide are
goosebump inducing. And I still
believe she hit the nail on its head when she
deduced that Ares was
really her daddy. It would explain so much. And he had already
portrayed himself as her father in "Ties That Bind." That's a big
honking clue.
Subtext Rating: The Passion of a
Powerful Princess. We have to wonder
just what the crazed but alluring WP
means when she suggestively
murmurs in Gabrielle's ear that she "can't be trusted" while tying the bard
to a tree (and appearing to ogle her
cleavage...not that even a
Hestian Virgin could help herself in that
enviable position...) Hmm. And
Gabs comforting the naked wild woman warrior
in Lady Macbeth mode has
lent feverish details to more than one bit of
inspired fanfic. Ares
little parting snipe re Gabs: "I still don't get what
you see in her."
Gab's eyes narrow and she sets her jaw in an almost
arrogant
little smirk--wouldn't you like to know...
"Been There, Done That"
Best comedy ep. Great slapstick. Not
overdone...for a change. Joxer
dies, is burned and returns the 'same'
morning--all in the teaser!
Group hug. What a clever script. Even though
it's 'based' on "Groundhog Day"
it is still very fresh and exuberantly
well-done. Favorite comic
moments: when Xena rants on and the camera slow
pans to Gab and Jox
bound and gagged and when Xena kills Jox with her chakram
and goes back to sleep and Gab freaks. Xena throws a mean tantrum. This
ep makes me laugh out loud every time. Ad infinitum.
Subtext Rating:
Carpe Diem...
Sieze the day. Literally.
The 'cameo' of Xena lying with Gabrielle in her arms...to die for. The
sweetly guilty expression on Gabrielle's face when Joxer asks Xena if
that's a hickey. They should have made as big a deal of Gab's 'death'
as well even though Xena
knows time, by this time, will reverse itself in
the morning. We hear her
mourn at the pyre. But we should have seen it
and felt her pain. Their
reunion is cute...though Gab has no earthly
idea what they are celebrating.
She doesn't seem to mind. And Joxer
interrupts again. Argh.
"The Dirty Half Dozen"
Steel. Steal. The Magnificent 7 ride. The motley
six or so, that is.
Gab & Xena look cool in capes. Ares gets off on
playing war games. ROC is
beautiful by firelight.
Subtext Rating:
The Changer and the Changed.
"Gabrielle is a good teacher."
Gab asks, "Am I what you made me?" What would have happened if
they'd met earlier... That's one to ponder. They've both changed each other
so much, even at this point. Gab says, "I'm not a little girl." Xena
muses, if I had met her before, maybe... "Question is, who would I be
without you?" Ah, thank you, Xena. That was the thoughtful warrior I fell
in love with.
I'm treating these two two-parters or four-part arc as two
two-hour
episodes.
"The Deliverer"
Where things really started going wrong for our beloved duo in
a season-long arc of tragedy that began with "The Furies." Never travel
to the land of the banshees with revenge in your heart--no good thing
will come of it. Brittain. Caesar. Bodicea. The Druids. Stonehenge
(seems Xena was responsible, in part at least, for that too). A witch's
brew.
How amusing that the druidical cultists engaged in human sacrifice
speak softly in proto-christian terms. Krafstar, the kelt in the kilt,
yet another prettyboy face that Gab becomes enamoured of, transmutes to
the title character to visit the wrath of Dahok upon our poor
blood-innocent bard. He acts as godaweful go-between to Deliver something
more than bad news; the facilitator of fecundity as the young bard is
literally raped by evil.
Subtext Rating: Love in the Ruins. "You're a little late...I'm already
Torn..." Was Gabby so ticked at Xena dragging her there and
then abandoning her that she actually wanted to sleep with the keltish boy
to proclaim her independence of the warrior? Would she have if their
guard had not been present after they were captured by Caesar? Did he
remind her of Perdicus, perhaps? Was Xena mightily jealous? (She looks
as though she's eaten a sour grape or two.) Xena does save Gab from
the same fate Caesar inflicted upon her, the breaking of both legs as
she hangs on the cross. "Timing" is everything though. Both in foreplay
and friend saving. She battles for her bard, heart-broken by her
lost innocence (losing one's innocence in blood has a whole other meaning
as well) and cradles Gab in her arms, finally. But-- Everything
has changed...
============
"Gabrielle's Hope"
A curious sensuous dream that turns nightmare. Gab relives her first kill.
What an ironic title as we look back upon and remember the much
happier, light-hearted time in earlier days when Pandora's Box became
a metaphor
for the hope we all carry inside us, the optimistic young
bard more than most. Shattered now. In this lively remake of "Rosemary's
Baby" poor Gab goes
though hades as she gives birth to a watermelon
sized preemie from hell. Xena
inadvertantly becomes The Once and Future
King of England when she
blithely pulls Excalibur from the stone, The
Banshees have a bad hair day,
one of many, Gab is in sackcloth, o dear
what can we do, baby's in black and
we're feeling blue... The controversy over Xena's single-minded determination
to kill her beloved's demon devil daughter not only began The Rift arc, but
the rift among fan factions as well. There are those who still can't
figure out what Gab was upset about. As well as those who never forgave
the warrior. How soul-shatteringly sad it was to see one friend run from
the other. Something we thought we'd never see. The distrust is
planted beween them and will almost destroy them. And as Missy Good has so
chillingly enunciated in her stories, it is as if it deliberately, evilly
contrived to do so, in fact, it would seem. By whatever Powers That Be.
Subtext Rating:
Strange Cravings... "She's relentless." Xena, still only
middling attentive to her bard's needs, does manage to midwife, nurture,
and nursemaid the birthing mother...for awhile. She can be gentle,
tender and loving when she wants to be. Sigh. She holds the young woman in
her arms still sporting those sexy demon-induced passion marks on her
arm.
"You are the Gate, the Way, the Spring." Xena might say the same
thing to her bard if she'd get over that aloof tougher than leather act.
(I'd
always wondered how in the previous ep and in this one they could
make it look like Lucy had actually picked up Renee and was even
carrying her...having seen a few of La ROC's ultra petite costumes up close
and personal I now understand--she just did it!)
============
"The
Debt" (Parts I & II)
One of the most extraordinary made for tv films of genuine
cinematic quality that I have ever seen in decades of viewing.
Pageantry, savagery, and a sensual love story gorgeously filmed. The
phenomenal Jackie Kim's knowing performance as Lao Mao is pure stillness
and peerless depth personified. A singular character creation one
doesn't often see on tv. Sumptuous, luscious cinematography, costumes,
setting, etc. The series reached a pinnacle here that it never quite
achieved again. Gab's betrayal (and Xena finding her in Ming Tien's bed no
less) is perhaps the most shocking moment in the series and
thoroughly unexpected. Despite the bard's protestations to altruistic
motives, it is only too clearly obvious that it is the other woman, Xena's
old flame, that provokes her eye-popping display of the green-eyed
monster within. Not until "Forget Me Not" will Gab come to admit to
her overwhelming Jealousy in the matter. And that angry, resounding
slap from the bard's small hand as Xena knelt before her in tears
spoke volumes as grande and substantial as Lao Ma's Book. As did Gab's
tears through laughter when Xena requests the touching intimacy of a
nose scratch. This ep is where subtext becomes darkly maintext. They had
full control of their narrative here and made some memorable tv.
Subtext Rating:
Paybacks ARE a bitch. Never was an opening scene more
extraordinary in picking up right where the previous ep left off. At the end
of Gab's Hope the bard was pouring out her heart's blood over the Moses
Gambit she was forced to perform for her now 'lost' and presumed dead (by
Xena) child. This was Gab's First Lie. Which will come back to haunt
them.
Big Time. Now, as the bard had removed herself from their sleeping
furs to muse alone Xena rolls over as if it is the most natural thing in
the world and extends her arm in an obviously second-nature,
habitual gesture to wrap it around the woman she fully expects to be lying in
bed right next to her. And, in fact, when her arm finds no bard where
she expected her to be this apparently unusual and unforseen turn of
events instantly wakens the sleeping warrior and sets her off in search
of her partner. Both subtle and blatant, if this did not establish the
nature of that relationship beyond a reasonable doubt than nothing could.
The first tentative I love yous are exchanged in what will become a
mantra in episodes to come. Once they started saying it, they couldn't
stop themselves. And mistress of the kiss that is not really a kiss-- You
can call it mouth-to-mouth (uh, resuscitation, of course...it
sure resuscitates me, gets my heart pumping alright), giving the breath
of life, but that underwater kiss which was just and only 'that' was one
of the most erotic images I've ever seen on television. Call it what
you will, Lao Ma's Kiss stays with you.
Season One -- Episode One
Sins of the Past -- Review by Bacchae
"Journey's end in lovers meeting." The Bard (of Avon)
"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" Marlowe
Gertie Stein said something I'll try to quote from memory: "There is a
solemnity about a first meeting with someone whom we know will change our
lives." Xena and Gabrielle's first meeting may not have been solemn, at least
not on the surface, but it was a monumental moment in tv history. And in the
birthing of legendary duos. Their eyes met, if not "across a crowded room," in a
bustling clearing filled with would-be slavers and innocent village girls. Xena
has just literally packed it in, burying her warrior 'uniform' and her past--but
then a bold, bravely beautiful young woman steps forward and into her life, into
both of their destinies, placing her self-sacrificing nature in harm's
way from the very first moment we and Xena see her. They are instantly taken
with the sight of one another and Xena's decision to run from her past is
immediately rescinded to perform the first rescue of the maiden in a long litany
of such events.
From that moment the scenario plays more like a coming out
story (and budding romance) than just another buddy show. At the beginning they
may be perceived as falling into a prototypical depiction of butch and femme
roles. Xena, tall, darkly dangerous and silently handsome; Gabrielle, petite,
girlish, chatty, and pure sunshine. She is ready to grasp at the
chance for something more in life that her bard's soul always fantasized lay just
around the river bend. She lies awake dreaming about it, then seizes the day and
runs away from home where they don't understand her, where she's not the
perfectly good and obedient little girl her parents expect her to be, where she
feels "different," an outsider, unwillingly betrothed to marry a hulking dullard
of a farmer with whom she could never have been happy (this is before the part
of Perdicus was recast in a much more tender and romantic
light). She runs to and away with another woman who has captured her bardic
imagination (and more), returns the ultimate favor by saving Xena's life and
then just keeps coming with a tenacity that wears her reluctant would-be partner
down until the once fearsome warrior cannot say no to her. Sitting by the
campfire they exchange shy, tentative smiles and settle in for one of the great
epic love stories ever told.*
Subtext rating: Locked and Loaded (Significant)
* Personal Note: LL can convey so much with a far from simple glance or
touch. Maybe it's those passionately pale blue eyes,"hot ice (and wondrous
strange snow,") and in combination with ROC's natural playful ebullience there
exists a catalyst between them that is captured on film in a chemical reaction
so palpable even non or anti subtexters are unnerved by it. It's a powerful
thing...
Chariots of War
In the second episode the heavily plotted decision to
separate the girls is ill advised. And we are mistreated to the first in a long
line of dreary teen crush cliches for Gabrielle. Though her callow, exuberant
youthfulness is awfully endearing. Especially as she prattles on about the
romantic notion of finding one's tree in the forest (a soulmate by any other
name...) --and we know exactly whom that tree turned out to be, don't we? This
becomes just another episodic TV show indistinguishable from, say, an episode of
"Gunsmoke." Wouldn't it have made much better sense to, at the outset, allow
Gabrielle to see the consequences of a life following the W.P.? That is, she
should've been the one forced into a situation of tending her wounded partner
and coming bloodily to terms with just what that might entail. Gabrielle is very
much the young damsel in need of protection, but always exhibiting a brave heart
and feisty attitude and Xena is not, to her stray bout of regret, cut off from
family life at all as she will soon come to realize that Gabrielle is her
family. Here we see a situation which deliberately, it would appear, presented
as pattern in Season Five--separate the protagonist team and the subtext is
effectively muted at the least or rendered virtually nil at worst.
And what kind of trees are they? Sturdy apple or supple willows bending to a
cool forest pond, long tresses just touching the mirror surface, the trunk
enwrapped (enrapt?) by a twining and complementary vine of blushing rosebuds
about to open. There's your subtext for today.
Subtext rating: Nearly Nil (by logistics, but a growing warmth trickles
through the shy shared glances and softly spoken confidences. A bond is being
forged in the scenes they do share.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dreamworker
A curious and intriguing episode from Steve Sears. The priests
of Morpheus kidnap Gabrielle as an innocent bridal offering to their dark lord.
Already there is the deep and abiding desire to protect Gabrielle, to be willing
to risk everything for her. Is Xena merely facing her fears or facing up to her
feelings? As the girls cross over into each other's dreams they become more to
each other than sidekicks. Gabrielle, like any dreamy-eyed adolescent, plucks
flower petals and contemplates the age-old question, yes or no, which shall it
be? At that moment Xena shows up in her dream. They gain sustenance from this
communing of their spirits and Xena is ready to battle Morpheus (the never seen
prospective bridegroom) for possession of her friend's body and soul. The loss
of Gabrielle's "blood-innocence" (and in this context as would-be bride we must
needs naturally extend this to cover her virginity) becomes an even more
over-riding concern for Xena and will remain so throughout most of the series.
This very basic dichotomy between the dark ex-warlord fighting for redemption
and her good-hearted, eternally optimistic voice of conscience in Gabrielle has
been all but lost in Season Five. Xena's words at the opening about killing
someone changing everything will come back to haunt both of them, repeated
numbly by the shell-shocked Gabrielle at the end of The Deliverer and passed on
as a hard soul-wrenching lesson by her in A Good Day. See a trend here? These
are ALL Steve Sears' episodes and just what I mean about an internal
consistency. It is one small, but important item like this that typifies his
strength as writer and storyteller and gave the show resonance. In a perfect
universe, of course, we wish the consistent and emotionally honest Mr. Sears
could've written the entire series.
Subtext Rating: One Raised Eyebrow (Meaningful)
Cradle of Hope
What is this John Hughes inspired obsession with baby
tossing? Confined to only this ep that particular bit of slapstick would not
have worn out its dubious welcome. But we like it better when Xena treats the
sleazy would-be lothario to a taste of tough love W.P. style...the over the
shoulder sucker punch...without another thought or backward glance. So much for
having a soft spot for bad boys. This ep mixes fairy tale elements with the
cautionary myth of Pandora's box and is a diverting hour. The baby in the
rushes. Pandora retold and rehabilitated. Even Hope is gone... X&G are still
trying to define their relationship; not a sister thing exactly, no...traveling
companions, friends, is Gab her 'ward' like Robin to Batman?...uh, no, that's
not it. At the end it is very touching of Xena to ask they name the baby Gabriel
for Gab. It gives us a very good idea of Xena's growing affection for the kid.
Gab is so heartbreakingly, sweetly innocent and enchanting. Xena is so wise, and
yet Gab will teach her so much. The marriage of opposites. The marriage of true
minds. No impediment.
Subtext rating: Short and sweet (like Gab) and slightly sassy...uh,
significant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Path Not Taken
I was delighted when I saw the inter-racial aspect
here handled so well--or, really, not 'handled' at all, but completely taken for
granted. Made me think this boded well for a series that would not, then, stand
back to portray other types of adult relationships. When I was growing up, tv's
first inter-racial kiss ("Star Trek") caused a furor among benighted
conservative souls--just as any hint of gay love continues to provoke today.
Subtext rating: X&G are separated through much of the ep, so it's nil,
except...Xena's definition re ex-lover Marcus as "my friend" is interesting
though, no? in relation to her 'best friend' status with Gabrielle. [Note: I can
find subtext in every ep even if I have to scan with an electron
microscope...with the exception of that dreadful Gabless 'comic' ep (another
baby tossing ep, appropriately nicknamed the "stinky" show) that doesn't even
mention (not even by the supposedly besotted Joxer!) our Bard, what a dis.]
The Reckoning
Lot of things reckoned with in this one. Ares' first appearance and attempted
manipulation/seduction of Xena. Xena's past. Her present and future with
Gabrielle. Guilt, loyalty. Gabrielle, stunned as she feels the force of the
dark fire that still burns within Xena ("Playing with the tiger" as Melissa Good
might term it) directed towards her for a violent moment during Xena's lapse of
control; Xena disbelieving as Gabrielle returns for her after the incident. It
never occurred to Gabrielle not to, she never gives up, it's what we love about
her (one of the things) and Xena is more touched by this simple act of courage
and friendship than perhaps any ever before. Xena is willing to turn herself
over to certain justice for Gabrielle's release, just as Gabrielle is willing to
die with her friend as she wraps the coils of rope around her own neck. This is
such a selfless moment, a defining moment in their friendship. Xena must be
both surprised and touched at the depth of Gabby the Advocate's emotional
defense even though she admonishes her for it as if it were merely a bit of
bardic grandstanding. "This isn't about you." But it is. Anything that concerns
one of them is of utmost import to the other. Ares and the dark side are very
seductive, but Xena's clearly got his number...so why did she lose it later on
and come across quite often as weak and foolish in relation to him?
Subtext rating: Reckoned with and found willing. The little bard is
positively passionate in defense of her W.P. and the rapprochement at the cell's
barred window isn't played like a buddy scene. No, not at all. There is a
sweet and sensual warmth and tenderness and something much stronger than
friendship binding them together. Lot of binding in this ep. A little 'bondage'
and lots of those ties that bind the growing and established bond between our
heroines.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Titans
Gabrielle once again assays the role of the fairy-tale princess as she did in
"Dreamworker." She's a natural for it with that peaches and cream complexion,
long golden hair and the rustic costume. Winsome, lissome, erstwhile little
girl. Delightfully ingratiating and funny. Especially when she realizes the
'might be cool' parameters of unlocking the frozen Titans from their stoned soul
sleep. Xena's face when she finds Gab lying down on a bed ('resting') with the
boy of the week is a study in emotions which she may think she's fighting to
conceal but which Gab sure reads readily enough. And comes out swinging. "It's
none of your business." Chastened (and kicking herself for being so
transparent?) Xena agrees to those terms. Is Xena just being a protective
elder sister, maternal in watching over her young charge? Hardly. Seems a lot
more personal and basic than that. And this isn't the first time that we will
see that little moue on Xena's lips. The J word comes to mind. The plot
device, the McGuffin of Gab's virginity (which she seems so eager to lose)--used
for 'laying' (uh, in the properly legitimate sense of the verb) The Titans--had
to be called into question with the nondescript little wimpy monkish boy who was
almost her first. Gab is deeply hurt by Xena's perceived brusque treatment ("She
has no respect for me.") so she's ready to act out with the nearest guy. Thank
heavens she grew out of that boy-crazy teen girl thing fairly quickly. Thank the
gods for Xena's instinctive intervention whatever its motivation. Really, aw,
Gab, you can do better than that. What a heated, passionate little exchange
between our girls. Sets the tone for their future. And Xena looks relieved later
when she finds out that Gab is, indeed, 'intact' despite her lie to the Titans
about no longer being a virgin. One must speculate on exactly how low Xena's
heart dipped when she heard that lie come from the young woman's lips.
Subtext rating: Don't it make your blue eyes green?--if looks could burn you
with their smouldering smoky intensity LL would need to wear those Raybans
full-time.
[Ed.'s note: Both well-done and entertaining eps; a pleasure to re-view.]
Prometheus
The only major character crossover of Herc (until God Fearing Child) and his
sidekick Iolaus. In typical tv series fashion there seems to be a more or less
serious attempt afoot to promote a relationship between sidekicks. What a
cliche. Luckily, as with a H/X romance this was entirely impractical and when
Gabrielle meets Iolaus again (in The Quest) they hug as friends and she tells
him, in mourning for a great loss of the heart, just how much she loved Xena.
And the sweet little guy understands. He is almost as cute and petite in stature
as Gabrielle herself. The one thing we can thank the parent show for in this
spin-off series is the mirroring of the H/I team that seemingly mandated the
same symmetry for X:WP. But the most telling moment in the difference between
the couples is when they, the sidekicks, bid their mates adieu. Between H&I
it is clearly buddies saying take care, but with X&G it is already like
lovers who don't wish to leave each other. One of ROC's finest bits of acting in
the series--which always seem introspective, as well as retrospective, as both
she and Gab are fine storytellers--comes when, cradling the dying Iolaus in a
very poignant scene, she relates to him the ancient theory of gender and
attraction. Beautifully done. But it is Gab and Xena who are soul-mates. That is
already only too clear.
Subtext Rating: Strong and True
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Death in Chains
Is this the same Sisyphus of the uphill boulder myth? If so, he would've
deserved it for this one. Gab has a new (short-lived) outfit. Style, design,
colors wrong for her. And they're not showing that divine midriff yet. I guess
we're supposed to believe she made her outfit from her other dress. And she's
still cowering behind Xena. Having almost got her staff again in the
previous ep, we realize she must observe before she can even begin to learn how
to fight. But, with that feisty heroic demeanor, she follows Xena to confront
Death. Skeletons, rats. We'll visit that territory again, most memorably in
Locked Up and Tied Down and, here too, we get the full Indy Jones (a
rip-off...er, homage of "El Norte") rats scene. Evidently neither of our
actresses are afraid of a few scurrying furry vermin. Gab is referred to as
"scrawny" (?!) Still sporting her adorable baby-fat. Made me reflect upon how
nice it was to see healthy, athletic, non-anorexic women on tv for a change.
Fascinating to see the powerful, bold warrior knocked all off-guard and
akilter by the emotions of one little bard. Xena has no defense for this. She
wears her heart, if not upon her sleeveless leathers, then in its proper place
several centimeters above her breast dagger (a 'present' from Gabrielle) for
everyone with eyes to see. Her own, supernaturally blue, cannot hide
her swirling complexity of emotions in the matter--as she watches Gab become
attracted to yet another boy (much nicer and cuter here, a pre-requisite
precursor for the reformulated Perdicus.) Gab weeps at the unbearable heartbreak
of loss and separation, her first taste, it is something she will be no stranger
to. (Gosh, this is actually a moral tale about euthanasia!) And Xena awkwardly,
unused to having the bard in her arms, tries to comfort. Is it the depth of
Gabrielle's sorrow she finds disconcerting or the warm reality of the young
woman seeking solace in her embrace?
Subtext Rating: One-sided but affecting nonetheless
Hooves and Harlots
Centaurs and amazons; a pedestrian title by comparison. The first generally
beloved episode? The introduction of the amazons into what is quintessentially
an amazon mythos. The well-drawn Ephiny and those other clanswomen only fully
fleshed out in the fanfic. Ironically, Gabrielle is back, however, in her femme
mode (the peasant dress) as it seems these eps must have been shown out of
sequence, not in the order they were shot. Still experimenting with her look.
And to foreshadow, Gab almost chooses a staff as a weapon once again and then
will earn one as an amazon, becoming one of the girls by pure gut reaction and
hapless default with her heedless heroic (alliterative homage a la the title)
action, something "only an amazon would do for another amazon." Gab, looking
like Rima the Bird Girl is out of her depth, but she'll grow into the role. Oh
my, how she'll grow into it. Once again Xena is struck full-force by Gab's
bravery and willingness to self-sacrifice. And Xena, as in the fanfic sagas
(where she is also Consort), becomes her Champion. Both princess warriors now.
Moving in the direction of equals. Would've been perfect if they had introduced
Artemis as well (a missed opportunity from which this aspect of the series never
rebounded) with Gab as her Chosen.
Subtext Rating: It's amazons...'nuff said. If it quacks like a...duck.
Gabby's little stick has a powerful kick. Also some very interesting sexual
tension in the interaction between Ephiny and Xena. Eph is definitely attracted,
but what amazon in her right mind wouldn't be?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Black Wolf
A run-of-the-mill plot, Spartacus meets Robin Hood, but the inclusion
of Salmoneus makes it fun. "Little Miss Innocent," Gab joins him in the
comic relief for this one. Ah, the lovely styling of the chakram chapeau.
Gab is not a fighter yet, couldn't get arrested for it, despite amazon training,
but plucky and clever. She lost her staff between eps (out of sequence?) but
finds one, sort of, in the big climactic fight. Already it is just plain wrong,
it doesn't feel at all right to see Xena ride in without Gabrielle by her side.
The theme seems to be that 'ya gotta have faith in people,' especially those
that are like sisters to you, even if they keep shifting, like that other Lucy,
the football right out from under you. They may just be raising (or lowering)
the bar and daring you on.
Subtext Rating: Now you see it, now you don't. The subtext here is done with
smoke and mirrors, and points to the first of several significant female
friendships from Xena's past. Any hint of subtext is cast into an aside and
remembered in the nostalgia between Xena and her old girlfriend and former
playmate.
Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
The classic Trojan Horse tail...ur tale retold (revised) Xena-style. Paris is
an ambitious, thoughtless dweeb, Helen an abused woman. A little recasting magic
and the once gruff, unattractive (and far too tall for Gab) character of
Perdicus (see the pilot ep "Sins of the Past") becomes a sympathetic and
likeable guy though definitely hunk-of-the-week fodder for the find-Gabby-a-guy
gristmill of het propriety--but is this calculation or backfire? He will only
last until a second ep which unleashes the inner workings of an almost
series-long arc worthy of any Greek Tragedy and displays for anyone with eyes to
see the true nature of Xena's feelings for her Bard. It's clear Gabby is swept
away by the passion of the moment (there's a war on) and caught up in their
shared history (though she herself is fighting fiercely now with her defensive
staff, she is much saddened at how he's changed, that he could kill out of
revenge and anger...another lost soul, like Xena, for her to reclaim...she can't
say no, it's just her nature) she finds herself in an unexpected position in
reconsidering her childhood friend and arranged-marriage betrothed, one of the
initial reasons she ran away from home. And is she feeling just a little
panicked about the true nature of her growing bond with her taciturn travelling
companion? Impulsively she kisses Perdicus, leaving Xena out in the cold looking
in--and the pain will intensify for her when next they meet.
Subtext Rating: Ouch. How can one little bard inspire such depth of emotion
and heartache? Beware of Greek Boys bearing their souls to impressionable and
empathetic bards. Don't ask, don't tell, Xena knows
all too well. The real gift evoked in the title occurs when Xena goes hungry to give Gab her apple, a
sweet gesture from the former warlord.
************************
Athens City Academy of Performing Bards
Gab's first act of straying from Xena's side to search for something...else.
An irresistible opportunity to better her bardly skills. And Xena, who had, at
first, been skeptical of the bard as companion (till only partway through the
first ep) looks downright unhappy at the prospect of suddenly losing her. We are
moving into the territory of friends as "family." Though the "you're like a
sister to me" line is completely unworthy of them, even at this early stage. We
already have the childhood friendship of "Black Wolf" and Gab's own sister to
provide female siblings for the girls. Gab is still a wide-eyed kid (even after
Troy?) lusting for the sights of the big city and all the experience life has to
offer, which is why her stay there is brief as she finds herself once again
longing, even more keenly, for the road--and for Xena. This all seems a bit
after-the-fact re Gab's developing skills as a sidekick, but if you gotta do a
'clips show'...this series generally knows how to do one. The teen versions of
Homer (wide-eyed as well and not blind, as rumored) and the pompous Euripides
are charming touches. As are the scenes from old spaghetti gladiator movies and
from the film classic "Spartacus." In adding to the bardic fun, Gab's spirited
stories of Xena, related in co-ed dorm rooms of the ancients where she seems to
be the only female rooming with the guys, serve to display to no one more
clearly than the bard herself just how much she misses her warrior and the
subject of her scrolls, too much to stay away--it is a clear and palpable
longing.
Subtext Rating: Athens makes the heart grow fonder. The little bard realizes
she is incomplete without her warrior (and vice versa).
"A Fistful of Dinars"
An ep you don't hear people talk about very much, but one with some 'very'
interesting twists in the growing subtext tapestry becoming intricately
intertwined within the delicately nuanced performances (the only thing delicate
or nuanced about this show) of the actresses. Gabby finds herself attracted to a
bad boy, one of her partner's former lovers, in fact. Is that why? Partly? Gab
wants to test the boundaries, to boldly go where the true object of her
obsession has gone before. Hey, she's just doing research, right? And Xena is
decidedly upset about it. Xena is full of fury at her former betrothed, not for
being scorned, but because of what he may do to Gabrielle's innocent affections
("You hurt my friend and I'll rip your throat out.") Her personal priorities
have clearly shifted. It is not about him. And when he accuses her of jealousy
in the matter even he is savvy enough to know just where that jealousy is
directed and at whom. He doesn't count, it's Gab she passionately cares about
and will protect at any cost. Unlike most other predictably boring series, it's
not about two women friends attracted to and vying for the same man. Not at all.
Sidelights; the bastard of an assassin will become the guru of "Paradise
Found." A good actor, and he's funny in this. Jeremy Roberts and Renee work well
together as a comedy team here as they worked tantalizingly well together as
partners in yoga later on. The editors used that skull-eye-sockets-spiders shot
in the ep before last. And Gab is without her staff again! Are we out of
sequence once more? She retreats to the background and swings her satchel! Yes,
she is, as the handsome rogue assures her, "very smart, very perceptive, very
beautiful." He's so seductively persuasive that Xena prefers Gab go with the
assassin (!) than with her old flame. But Xena's old boyfriend shows his
enduring and regretful love for her by giving his life for her new partner. Very
touching. Not a bad guy after all.
Subtext Rating: Old vs New Faithful. Simmering just below the surface and
coming to a boil.
**************************
"Warrior...Princess"
The true joke in the midst of this bit of comic mayhem is that Ms. Lawless,
the nonpareil of all women, totally unique and fresh and original, could have a
double?! I wish. I'll take one. Please. As the first in the series of multiple
clones (or clowns) this is the most bearable and, initially excusable, as being
in the grand classic tradition of Greek and Roman theater (the "Twin Menechmi"
of Plautus, e.g.) Once again, it's a nice little fairy tale retelling. Gab
dealing with the girlie version of Xena is both amused and amusing. As is the
real Xena trying to be a 'girl.' "Chakram." "Bless you."
Subtext Rating: Silly, but sincere. Gab likes seeing Xena in more feminine
clothes once in awhile. The first shot of Gabrielle, deep into her romantic poem
to Xena is to sigh for. Gab "fulfills" Xena's "every
whim"...hmm? ("Hey, that's what you're here for.") And "Don't be afraid to speak up when it
happens." Finding that certain someone, that tree in the forest,
that...soulmate... Gee, I think she was speaking up in that establishing shot,
leaning against that tree in the forest (!) and composing a loving tribute to
her heart and soul's inspiration.
"Mortal Beloved"
Marcus returns...as a shade. But it's the last we hear of "the man I love."
Definitely not Xena's most significant relationship on this series. As someone
once pointed out, re later developments, it's like
they blew off almost the
whole first season of the series. (And in Season Five they blew off everything
that went before!)
A vain attempt at making Xena het. It don't play that way. It's the
'friendship' between X&G that drives this series. Stabbing Marcus in the
heart (what symbolism!) after he's given life again is perverse...to say the
least...the ultimate in passion? More lasting than a petite mort. She also stabs
Gabby in Illusia let us remember (or try to forget). What a twisted symbol of
'love'...this Xena woman has a powerfully lethal effect upon her lovers.
The menacing, invisible fiend, super creepy and chilling, threatens Gab and
provides a genuine moment of sheer terror when he appears to have bloodily
overpowered her, still an innocent young thing at this point. Remember what a
good heart she had, gods I miss that. Sigh.
Charon is a dead ringer (sorry, couldn't resist) for Beetlejuice crossed with
Harvey Fierstein. Can that really be the adorable Mich. Hurst under all that
make-up?!
And Xena and Marcus making love by the fire, and just inches away from a
sleeping Gabrielle, is...kinky, Xena, to say the least.
Subtext Rating: Comparisons are odious (but instructive). Every would-be het
relationship just serves to underline the rightness of her being with Gab. Which
duo is left standing (or sitting by a lake with their arms around each other)
together when all is said and done? We end with Xena and steadfast Gab a deux.
The anguish written clearly on Xena's face and in her voice when she thinks Gab
could be dead speaks to the heart of the matter.
Kinky factor--the only time we really know of in the series since meeting Gab
that Xena sleeps with someone else, a man, and while Gab is lying right there,
only a heartbeat and a (heavy) breath, or two, away. But, sigh, think of the way
she tenderly pulls the cover over a soundly sleeping bard.
***********************
"The Royal Couple of Thieves"
"We're a couple of swells." "Anything you can do, I can do better." "Together
wherever we go-o." "Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you in
mid-air..." Send in the Clowns.
Autolycus' first show. Bruce Campbell is a wonderful physical comic. Good
silly fun. Which all of a sudden turns into "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Far too
little Gabby. Though she does show up to good effect just in time to spur Xena's
anguish factor once again, as the damsel in distress. B.C. and LL are a good
comedy team. (But so are LL and ROC). They obviously have fun doing these eps.
ROC does the woman in jep thing so well, she really makes you care about her.
You know just how Xena feels. The battle of the pressure points. They do nicely
choreograph these things.
Subtext Rating: They said it all: "Don't fear the truth, face it."
"The Prodigal"
Can there possibly be anything cuter than Gabrielle looking
for all the world like a faun as she plays the pan pipes? Yet another moment of
truth ep for Gab as she has second thoughts and returns to her village after
freezing up in a dangerous situation. Not because she's frightened for herself,
but because it puts Xena at risk. It's a Personal Journey thing. One Gab has to
make alone, (vacation time for the star?) returning to the bosom of the family,
to the sister she left behind. Gab is quite right in pointing out that she only
has one sister and Xena is not that to her at all...as well we know. Gab's the
most amusing little hitch-hiker since Claudette Colbert raised her hemline and
stopped traffic. Once we get back to the ol' homestead though, we get Meleager
doing Lee Marvin in "Cat Ballou" (didn't these writers ever get an original idea
for a comic ep?) And, since Gab has learned a lot from Xena, for once the WP
does not have to ride in to save the day. It's an object lesson for Gab in
losing her nerve, momentarily, and finding her self-confidence (thanks to the
strong off-stage presence of a certain tall, dark, and deadly warrior). Poor kid
always had a knife at her throat in the first season. When Destiny calls, she
goes off happily, whistling, back to the open road. And Xena just happens to be
on her way to 'visit.' More like hanging around hang-dog lonesome till the
little bard returns.
Subtext Rating: "You know how to whistle, don't you? Just put your lips
together and blow."
********************
"Altared States"
Karl Urban's first villain. ROC's delightful tour de force 'drunk' scene. "By
the gods, you are beautiful!" Putting the bible where it belongs, firmly in the
realm of myth. A nice twice-told tale retelling. The names have been changed to
protect the not entirely innocent. There are several fun things in this ep, not
least of which is the opening double-entendre sequence... skinny-dipping.
Classic clothes scattered travel shot, obviously hurriedly removed. And the
falling down and climbing out of the well sequence. "Lovin' every minute of it."
Great shot of ROC's hand firmly on LL's thigh. Gab makes such an adorable sot,
more amusing yet since she is obviously a very sober young woman. Xena is
magnificent climbing out of the well with Gab wrapped around her. And rising
from the pond in all her (vividly imagined) glory. Henbane. Interesting
high.
Subtext Rating: Wink, wink, nudge, nudge...and pass the nutbread, please. A
little henbane will loosen your tongue, my pretty. Yes, strong subtext here,
playful at the start with the skinny dipping scene and with that typical loving
travel shot over the seemingly hastily discarded clothes...but this is one of
those 'having fun with it' early subtext moments they've both alluded to from
time to time, when they weren't so sure they were going to take it seriously and
just threw that double entendre (especially in the naughty voice-overs) in there
for fun. But, much more to the point and handled with such fresh gentility and
genuine ebullient emotion, is the totally, delightfully intertwined climb up the
rope (lovin' every minute of it indeed, so were we!) and the Gabby zonked out on
nutbread gods you're beautiful reverie.
What I love is Xena's reaction to Gab's sudden drug-induced revelation of
Xena's beauty...mmhm, I could take advantage of this, but I wouldn't do that,
or, oh my, I've got my hands full with this little bard alright. They did play
that well scene so, well...'well,' dammit, didn't they? Wonder how long it took
to film that? How long they had to cling to each other. Got to know each other
well (hah) enough by that time, didn't they? They were both very comfortable
with each other here. Renee just went all the way with the comedy of being
stoned out of her mind. I miss that callow young (and amusing) Gabby. Sigh.
As my dear friend fluff so sagely and succinctly put it re Gab's drug induced
moment of supreme honesty: "She may have been under the influence, but it's
clear her statement was sincere. The scene in the well: Have we ever seen Xena
and Gab's bodies so intertwined as in this scene? And neither was shy about the
physical contact here. Then there's the evil brother's statement to incite the
crowd against Xena.
He talks about how 'unnatural' it is that Xena has the strength of ten men,
then goes on to add to his reasons why Xena is 'unnatural,' that she travels
around accompanied only by 'her scrawny companion.' The whole little speech has
exactly the tone and feeling one would expect of a narrow-minded bigot talking
about a lesbian he didn't like--and I'm sure the fact that it comes across that
way was exactly what Manheim intended."
"Ties That Bind"
The daughter also rises. Xena's 'father' is introduced. This time it's Gab
trying to selflessly say goodbye...so her partner can reconnect. Tommy Atkins is
a good casting choice as the warrior's da. This one I figured out. [Spoiler
here. That he's really Ares...but isn't that 'really' the case anyway? What we
thought we may have found out at the beginning of the great season long arc of
year three in "The Furies?"] Even though they cheated and have Ares in two
places at once. Can he do that? He's a god, but he's not omnipotent, for god's
sake. Good-hearted Gab standing up to Xena, even striking her, and getting
through the madness of blind rage, and even though Ares loves to push buttons
and often knows just what cards to play, Xena figures it out again and beats
him. But not without her faithful companion who will not leave her dark side
manifest no matter what. Gab is magnificent, feisty as hell and fearless, she
has a great role model.
Subtext Rating: The moral of the story--we are 'family'--I got my sister with
me. Yes, "stronger than blood ever could." The ties that bind them.
********************
"The Greater Good"
A classic. A truly great ep. Starts out as a comedy, gets darkly deadly
serious. Dealing with loss, or not being able to deal. Speaking of role
models--Gab comes into her own masquerading as Xena. (Callisto's intro via
poison dart and shots of flesh clad in leather.) Gab is too cute in Xena's
outfit. She comes back brimming with self-confidence and finds Xena gone. And
mourns her so beautifully and quietly. What a touching, heartbreaking scene.
Perfectly played. On pure instinct. And then takes her staff and goes alone into
the woods and loses it. Magnificently. As fiery as her hair is red (in this ep).
She really gets her Irish up. This is, obviously to anyone watching, a very
special relationship. Salmoneus sees it clearly and tries to temper the apparent
soul-tearing depth of the blow, gently urges the onlookers aside so that these
women may have their last moment of privacy. These two love each other very
deeply. It's a beautiful thing. We know they'd do anything for each other.
"Going to get all soft on you." "Wouldn't want that, would we?"
Subtext Rating: Speak loudly and carry a big stick. Size doesn't matter, it's
knowing what to do with it. Your beloved partner dies, you whack the living hell
out of the nearest tree. With a passion usually preserved for...well, passion.
"Callisto"
She's bad. She's scary. She's psychotic. And we love her for it! What a good
bad girl she is. No one else quite like her, huh? The show went south when she
went good. A savage introduction for a savage character. Oh, and we also meet
Joxer. But enough about that. Gabrielle has learned a thing or two at this
point, she's delightful to watch as she guards Xena's back, constantly moving
behind her, the trusting W.P. perfectly still in foreground close-up. Also
inspiring when she beats the snot out of you know who with her widdle staff.
Now, that's the relationship between unequals in its proper place. Some more
serious s&m in the X/C 'relationship'... already in this first episode
Callisto is asking Xena to kill her and is enraged when she survives.
Subtext Rating: Campfire girls. Sigh. A significant scene, that heart to
heart by the blaze. One of the best scenes they've played together. Some genuine
human emotion there...few and far between these days...and pure tenderness.
"Promise me." They bring each other to tears. We see Xena's "weakness" in the
situation with Callisto, the kidnapping of Gabrielle. Xena rescues the fair
maiden in distress. How ironic, then, in "Crusader" when Xena pretends to hoist
Gab with burning rope to put Najara off balance. Even Xena still learns from
experience. "People like us should listen to people like Gabrielle." That's what
is sorely lacking in the near non-existent humanity of the show in later days.
==============
"Death Mask"
Xena's brother. Remember him? Whatever happened to him? He was remarkably
well cast. Tall, dark, handsome, penetrating blue eyes...yes, sis bore a
startling resemblance to him! They could've been twins. He complements and
matches her perfectly. When I idly wonder, I tend to wonder why this character,
and another fascinating one like Velasca, were never invited back (instead of
way too much of certain other characters...you know who I mean). At least he
provided some good background development on Xena's destiny shaping battle with
Cortes and the current sublimation of her once unquenchable thirst for revenge.
Subtext Rating: "Touching." It's the little things. The looks, the asides,
sweet little moments like Gab touching Xena's arm ever so lightly when she
leaves her with her brother for a family discussion. "She's doing to you what
she did to our village," Toris tells Gab. In any other series they would've
definitely made some move to have Gabrielle enamored of Xena's bro and vice
versa. But not here, bless 'em. "She's brave because that's the way she is," he
states with admiration, but Gab shows him (and us) exactly who has her full and
undivided attention.
"Is There A Doctor in the House?"
Do we love this ep, or what? This was the one, the ep that all but enshrined
the intensity of the depth of feeling at the heart of that relationship. A very
fitting coda to that first fine season. A meaningful ep (remember when they
still did those unashamedly?), the powerful sense memory of which can still
bring tears to Lucy's eyes as well as ours. And we learn that Xena taught Galen
and Hippocrates all they know about medicine--and invents CPR to boot. In pure
frantic desperation to save Gabrielle. Xena is almost naked in revealing the
true depths of her feelings for the young bard. If ever LL deserved an Emmy, it
was for this scene. A better resuscitation scene I've never seen played on any
doctor show, though usually such a cliché, this one was, and remains, riveting.
So pale and frail and fragile and vulnerable is Gabrielle and Xena so ruefully
brought to tears, "so sorry," the strong warrior brought to her knees by the
girl's side, blaming herself for her companion's fatal wounding. But, with the
heart and determination to drag her back from the other side and never let go.
Gab's insightful storytelling to the general (excellently played), is heartfelt,
beautifully delivered. You can see the old soldier's heart melt. This was the
series at its best. A direction and accomplishment of which they should never
have lost sight.
Subtext Rating: You'll never know if you don't know now. Watch Xena's raw,
unguarded interplay with the safely catatonic bard, her increasing unwillingness
to let go of her young friend, the hurt disbelief and anguish that this gift
could be taken from her, and the sheer bloody determination to reach inside, to
breathe her own life-force into the silenced bard, the transcendent elation and
joy when Gabrielle is returned to her. It can indeed move mountains.
"Orphan of War"
Solon. Palpable tension between X&G at first. Why didn't you tell
me? You had a son. A poignant ep. ("I could sing for you," the warrior
suggests sorrowfully with little hope that she can ever be free to just play
mommy and me.) The villain Dagnon (though painfully, that's gotta hurt,
impaled), the Ixion Stone, Motherhood (with a capital M) will all come back to
haunt us (and them). A melancholy, sad and serious ep to begin a new season. The
tragic seeds are emplanted for a series long arc of passionate misunderstandings
and painful denouements.
Subtext Rating: The sub also rises..."I pride myself on being your
friend...I'm here for you." "Always." They put so much into a glance, the way
they look and smile at each other. It's an intimacy they share with no one
else. The outward evidence of the chemistry that got them into this thing in the
first place.
"Remember Nothing"
What if...? If Xena had not been there that day to rescue Gabrielle from the
slavers. If she'd opted for a domestic life, not been forced to play the
warrior. You gain something, you lose something. Her beloved younger brother
lives and breathes again as a fine young man, but her mother is deceased...and
there's no Gabrielle in her life. Or so they'd tricked me into believing during
the first part of this clever, heartbreaking ep. This particular story is as
fine an alternate time tale as anything put forward by Star Trek: TNG in its
heydey. It is their destiny to meet in any lifetime, no matter what. Seeing the
tough, angry, embittered exterior of this alternate Gabrielle for the first time
is soul-shattering--for us as well as for Xena. We see a side of the sunny bard
that, at this juncture, we never thought we'd see, surly and sour on life. Their
scenes together are passionately heart aching. ROC gives a wonderful
performance, she earned that co-star billing she began receiving full credit for
a few eps back in this second season. This is one of the better versions of the
'Wonderful Life' scenario attempted by most series. Xena was born to be a
warrior. She never would've been happy married to that simpering fool, wearing a
dress, and staying put in Amphipolis.
Subtext Rating: You must remember this...(a sai is just a sai). Xena gives up
her brother's life for Gabrielle, for the girl she knew and has come to love.
She simply cannot live with the responsibility of killing the bard's soul and
twisting her spirit by having not been there for her. To save her from the
physical abuse that warped her nature. Xena makes a definite, considered choice.
Taking the burden once more upon her own battered soul. She cannot bear the
sight of Gabrielle killing without remorse. Those were the days, huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Giant Killer"
One of several eps in which the writers showed surprising temerity in placing
the bible in retrospect perspective as myth alongside all of the other myths of
western culture. Goliath. Davy. Slingshot. Fall down, go boom. Behind every
great man (and event and invention and discovery) is the archetypal woman,
W-o-m-a-n, also spelled X-e-n-a.
Subtext Rating: It's the little things... The memorable moment when Gab
berates herself for being interested in David and then immediately goes to find
Xena. For solace. They stand and watch the storm brew as they clasp and grasp
hands like drowning women, holding on for dear life. Perfect comfort,
understanding and love. Which will always be within reach for both of them. The
seemingly unnecessary close-up of their hands entwined has an erotic urgency,
intensity and power to it. Gab looks as though she wants to reclaim that hand
again at story's end. For more than a little comfort. David is placed in proper
perspective as a "friend"...then what of the term "best friend," does it then
become a code word?
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
Yeehah. GJWHF An acronym we know by heart. One of almost everyone's favorite
eps. A great Halloween tale.
Subtext Rating: Nothing but sub. They just wanna. From the bard's sensual
setting of the scene to the obvious dyke duo with whom she shares a sensuous
dance to the lusty eager request of her partner to, "Do it, Gabrielle." Bite me.
How ingenious to reformulate the god of lustful exuberance and excess as an
immortal vampire and his bacchae as the brides of Dracula. Feral-eyed babes.
Those seductive sapphic sisters who draw our innocent little Gabrielle with
their siren song. True, the relatively harmless god of wine and pleasurable good
times is translated into something more akin to the traditional devil than even
that which we saw in the series' christian mythos era, but the vampire analogy
is a fascinating one, especially in light of the more than merely symbolic
lesbian overtones. Xena and Gabby, the vampire slayers come to prevail only by
giving themselves over to the wild debauch in one of the series' most sensual
scenes. Soul sisters in a purely orgasmic response. The first out and out
blatant eroticism we were given in their relationship. Xena displays her now
absolute trust in Gabrielle by allowing herself to be taken by her as bacchae.
Yummy. What a formidable pair of sister vamps. Orpheus points out to Xena: "Your
selfish desires." Enumerate and elucidate please. Gabrielle gives great neck, a
real tongue twister and fangs for the memory.
*********************
"Return of Callisto"
With a vengeance.
On a sudden impulse Gabrielle decides to marry her formerly arranged
betrothed from her old homestead. He has changed (literally, though transformed
by his loathing of the Trojan War in which he fought, he is played by a
different actor than the rude bumpkin from the pilot ep from whom Gab was, quite
understandably, running away) and Gab, always the nurturer, figures he needs her
more than Xena...and since he's the one declaring himself... Really, the poor
boy, though sweet, is just a plot device. They had to get rid of Gab's pesky
virginity. And in a 'nice' way. But, like all spouses of a lead heroic figure,
he is already condemned as surely as any expendable Red Shirt. Re-enter the
psychopathic Callisto bent on revenge. And we have the series' first major
tragedy.
Subtext Rating: ROC rocks RoC. Or verse-a vice. Will the real love story
please declare itself? Gab simply felt that he needed her more. And she needs to
be needed. But the "now I know what love is" line has to be dealt with as well
(one might say that since Gab talked about Xena on her wedding night that
Perdicus 'understood' and was accepting of her in all her facets and, thus, the
prompt to acknowledge the complete and unconditional thing that love really is,
'cause I sure don't think Gab was talking about sex at that point)...
Interesting, the way they had her say to him that she'd never been with a "man"
before. Then the "have you?" is rather curious, with a beat before she adds
"with a woman"...almost a subliminal same sex ref. Yeah, Gab needs to be needed
and Xena is, at worst, sullen and aloof and pushes her away (for her own good)
and tried hard to fight the physical attraction at times (because of Gab's age?
and innocence). Gab felt protective toward him just as Xena feels towards
her--the relationship seems much more fraternal than what X&G have. Xena is
devastated by her 'best friend' marrying. Clearly read upon her features, the
impassive mask she attempts vainly to keep in place while saying goodbye to her
bard, is the war she wages within herself to reveal her true feelings. And can't
we all identify with that? Curious that all Gab can seem to talk about on the
wedding night is Xena (as Brunnhilde would later complain: "Is Xena all you ever
think about?!"). There's a clue for ya, Perdy boy.
Xena, kissing Gabrielle goodbye, at the paltry ceremony with only two friends/witnesses in attendance is
maid of honor and gives the bride away (the very last thing she wants to do) and
Joxer is best man (no comment--though I'm biting my tongue)--that kiss is more
filled with love and passion than Gab and Perd's perfunctory ceremony ending
peck. And the way Xena says, "Goodbye, Gabrielle" with such finality (and it
won't be the last time), her heart is clearly breaking. You know she intends
never to return because she just cannot bear it. It is written in her face, her
body language, her expression, her voice. It could not be stated with greater
clarity. Gab's angry defiance in goading the WP to teach her to fight with a
sword to avenge her husband of one night's murder by the deliciously twisted
Callisto is one of their finest and most passionate moments of interaction on
screen together. As with so much in the chemistry between these two, it has an
undeniably sexual intensity. Xena's prayer to the chaste goddess moon
(Artemis/Diana, in effect) is one of the series' most poignant and beautifully
heartfelt moments. Only for her dear beloved best friend's soul and pain will
the proud and godless warrior kneel and humble herself. The love story in this
ep was not between Gabrielle and Perdicus.
"Warrior...Princess...Tramp"
Two Xenas were apparently not enough in the prequel to this silly, but fun,
ep. The sole purpose of which seems designed to keep the star from getting
bored, to give her some room to play around and do comedy and different
characters (or display differing aspects of her personality?) As the demure
Princess Diana and the vulgar, sex-crazed Meg (the future wife of Joxer and
mother to Virgil), LL defines the other characters very well so you can always
tell them apart quite easily. But, it's Gab who's perhaps most amusing (and
adorable when angry) reigning (or reining) in maddening confusion when she finds
herself unjustly consigned to a cell by someone she believes to be her partner.
The whole bloody thing is anarchic in the extreme and confusing--in the best
tradition of classical (and I do mean Classical--going back to Greece and Rome)
comedy, filled with mistaken identity and other farcical business.
Subtext Rating: Peel me a grape. "Eat the fruit, baby." Cat fight. Always a
substitute for something else...you know what. Mashing Gab's face into the plate
of juicy grapes and then rolling around on the floor together. Followed by a
sweet heart to heart with Meg. As ME would sing, "Somebody bring me some water"!
It's hot in here, I'm burnin' alive. Joxer becomes Cassandra the woeful prophet
when he says, "I'm wrecking one of the great friendships." He did his worst. But
for an accident of birth we never would've seen him. I like Gab's take to Joxer
better in response to his mistaken assumption that Xena is coming on to him.
"Impossible. You're not her type." She knows from where she speaks of course.
**************
"Intimate Stranger"
The dream within the dream within the dream=nightmare. The real Gab would
never say those awful things to her partner. Our first clue that they weren't
playing by the rules here. A perverse ep. Turns everything around and upside
down. The old switcheroo. LL has Hudson down. So to speak. Taunting Gab--"Little
girl." It has real sexual tension. Callisto in Xena's body is pure predator. To
what does the title refer? It implies a relationship. A very close relationship.
That would be X&G since Callisto is the stranger in intimate waters. So to
speak. It also implies a sexual relationship. One of intimacy. "She's my little
friend now." And all that implies. Xena and Callisto are vixens fighting over
Gabrielle at one point. But Gab could never really get used to the switch,
looking at the face of the psycho who killed her husband. Oh, what a tangled
web...
Subtext Rating: Definition: intimate adj 1: very close in friendship or
affection; "a bosom buddy"; "an intimate friendship" 2: involved in a sexual
relationship; "the intimate (or sexual) relations" [syn: {sexual}]
One Raised Eyebrow, Way Up. A really very kinky ep. (Which has also spawned
some kinky spin-off fanfic). Gotta quote Melissa E. again: "Not so black and
white/the color of your sin/Take a walk inside my shoes/a path I didn't
choose/Spend the night inside of my skin...I coulda been you/you coulda been
me/one small change that shapes your destiny"
"Ten Little Warlords"
Lucy's little vacation. With Xena still in Callisto's body, there's a
certain...tension between her and Gabrielle. And she still has that patented
Callisto blood-curdling scream--if there was an award for scream queens she
would win the Golden Uvula. That girl has a knack for extreme behavior.
Supposedly Hudson kept asking Renee, 'WWLD'? (What would Lucy do?) This ep gave
Hudson and Kevin (Ares) a chance to play nice and behaaave. Gab: beautiful when
angry. The more than usually feisty (due to the loss of Ares' godhood provoking
a sudden rush of testosterone poisoning in the population) bard is ready to beat
the snot out of Joxer and, dammit, that's just the way we like it.
Subtext Rating: Beaches. Gab's anger has some sexual tension in it -- "Get
your hands off of me." When Xena finds out that Ares "had' her when Callisto was
in her body she shudders and desires nothing more than a nice hot cleansing bath
(Gabby, stoke up the fire under the hottub). That little transition back to form
and walk along the beach together at the end...sigh. All's right with the known
world once again.
===========================
"A Solstice Carol"
Every show has to do an Xmas story. Seems to be a WGA rule. Write by the
numbers. Phone it in. Usually based on the granddaddy of all such tales, "A
Christmas Carol." This one seemed more like a rather silly first season ep. But
is increasingly endearing upon further viewings. Good trivia question: what did
Gabby name the donkey? And that jolly old elf...Sentacles. But the First Family
traveling under the Xmas Star is a bit too precious since we are very B.C. here.
And, clearly, we see the pagan roots of Xmas and all its trappings. Gab invents
something for a change!...the hula hoop.
Subtext Rating: The Greatest Gift. We'll see that gift again another year
down the road. All Xena could afford to give her, something she had cherished as
a child, her only possession which she then will pass on to her daughter.
"Gabrielle, you are a gift to me." Are those the sweetest words ever spoke by
warrior to bard?
"The Xena Scrolls"
Indy Jones a la ROC. Janice and Melinda. The two gals who spawned more uber
than any other incarnated versions of our girls. Gab in butch drag as a tough
little cookie who knows how to bogart a stogie/Xena in femme drag as a softly
accented southern belle...and Joxer in French drag a la "Casablanca" by way of
Clouseau. What a fun and frothy confection which holds a special place in my
heart as my first Xena ep viewed. The sense of anarchic play and the well-chosen
flashbacks (this was the way to do a "clips" show), especially the highly
subtextual "Dr. in the House," galvanized my attention and assured I would come
back for more. Turnabout/fair play. Jan defends Mel's honor ("No way to treat a
lady.") They walk off into the desert sunset together. True myths. Some things
never change.
Subtext Rating: "Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?" Cigar, fedora,
whip, pistol. Sigh...
============
"Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis"
A really very subversive ep, but all silliness on the surface. It's a mini
version of "La Cage" with its underlying socio content. Boys will be girls and
girls don't necessarily have more fun as sex objects. And the drag queen, though
perhaps more macho than Salmoneous, is actually more feminine than either Xena
or Gab! (who looks like a sore thumbelina in her glossy little numba). Does LL
(undercover vying for "Miss Known World") seem to lose IQ points in direct
proportion to the lightening of her hair? "And they all went to the seashore."
--(Melina Mercouri in "Never on Sunday")
Subtext Rating: Miss Congeniality. Will the real Drama Queen please step
forward? Gab's reaction to the apparent woman to woman kiss mirrors that of the
mostly male audience--momentarily stunned...and then...cheering for it. Right on
the mouth.
********************
Ah, could there be two better classic episodes with which to say farewell to
the series in remembering what it was at its very best...
"Destiny"
The elegant lyrical elegiac beginning to a three part arc that sets the
backdrop for much of the tragedy as well as the depth of this love in which they
find themselves inextricably bound. In a pivotal role, the suave Karl Urban is
superb as Caesar. Sensually written and directed by the star's husband with such
memorably teasing dialogue as: "Some enemies are harder than others." "Oh, I
count on it." (And they named their son Julius...) The mysterious M'lila's
rescue of the woman pirate who appears to steal her heart is matched in 'the
present' by Gabrielle, severely wounded, displaying such stalwart bravery in
endurance, carrying her gravely ill partner to the snow covered mountains in a,
for now, vain attempt to save her life. The music is mystical and moving, almost
hynoptic. The first crucifixion. Xena's mangled legs. Caesar's callous betrayal.
Which also sets his particular destiny (in this universe or any other) into its
inevitable collision course.
Subtext Rating: Embrace your Destiny. The depth of emotion in the grieving
Gabrielle's mourning scene is a thing of terrible beauty to behold along with
the exquisitely cut montage of floating images (all tender relationship moments
from Xena's all too brief past with Gabrielle) flashing before Xena's dying eyes
as she hears the extraordinary words of love her bard needs to tell her...now
when it appears to be too late. As with the bard herself on her deathbed in "Is
There A Doctor In The House"... 'Don't leave me'..."I need you." Could anything
more clearly say that these women love each other? (Yes, the next episode.)
===========================
"The Quest"
The reports of Xena's death (and imminent immolation) were somewhat
exaggerated. If the bard could come back from the other side to rejoin her
warrior the least Xena can do is find a way to conquer death itself to return to
her bard. Especially now...when they both realize just how much...
Bruce Campbell's best performance of the series hands down (which is just where
Autolycus should keep them if he knows what's good for him). Equal parts "All of
Me," "Ghost," and a romantic beautifully realized story of love and devotion.
And along with the internecine amazon politics, the great physical comedy, the
stoic widowed bravery of our bard preparing to take the amazon mantle of
authority while she mourns the loss of the other half of her soul...it's a
multi-layered tour de force.
Subtext Rating: "You don't have to say a word." (Exactly.) When Xena says
Gabrielle's name it's like a caress. Almost like a fever dream it springs itself
on our (and Gabrielle's) senses...The Kiss--when I knew I wasn't imagining it
and they weren't kidding with the subtext, that it was really there and
really...real. The scene is a bit of a tease, but there's no mistaking the
implications. One of the most romantic and seminal (you'll pardon the
paternalistic expression) moments in tv history. Iolaus when he pops up in cameo
is hardly Gab's soulmate at this point (but we know who is, don't we?), just a
friend to whom she entrusts her sorrow and regret at not having spoken of the
love she felt for her warrior. That little revivifying nugget of ambrosia,
nicely warmed, from Gabby's bosom, the body that Xena inhabited for a breathless
spate of moments... And it was very good. "Warm and loving." This is the
definitive subtext ep. Ending with a lingering loving two-shot. X&G. Side by
side by...sigh.
"A Necessary Evil"
A surprisingly fun, for all its frenetic action,
follow-up to certain events in "The Quest," even through the drama of
amazonian political machinations (it's Florida all over again...Velasca
demands a recount) and Gab's fear/flight reaction to being targeted and
Xena's very protective hurt/comfort mode ("Sacrificing you is not part of
the plan! Not even close.") and Callisto's nasty, naughty ("We played a
game of truth-or-dare. She's not very good at it.") switch-hitting
turn as enemy/ally as she drips innuendoes by the campfire (does that
woman just ooze sexual tension like a pheromone based cologne, or
what?) Callisto is freed from Tartarus in the season three Hercules
ep "Surprise." In that ep she becomes immortal as well as
trapped and scarred. The Herc ep explains
how Callisto came back to life after
RoC ("Return of Callisto") when she had
apparently 'drowned' in the
sandpit (uncharacteristically begging Xena to
save her in a turnabout
of the scene in the classic novel "Lorna Doone"
wherein the hero attempts to avenge his wife, stabbed on their wedding day,
by riding down the former suitor and then trying to rescue him from
quicksand while he slaps the would-be savior's hand aside...now, that
would've been more in keeping with Callisto's frame of mind.) We do find her
in the burned out remains of the labyrinth of the gods,
however...with
her pet rat, Hercules. Fascinating, knowing how
Gabrielle has every reason
to hate Callisto and yet feels for her
just the same when she sees her
visibly moved by Xena's public
confession of her crime. At least Artemis is
finally mentioned in
this one, but, appropriately for this series, as an
absentee landlady
to the tribe. Velasca is almost as scary as
Callisto...wonder why she
didn't warrant a resurrection from that lava pit.
Good villanesses
are hard to find, and, apparently, to keep.
Subtext Rating: All-girl Romp. That's some sorority...and what an
initiation ceremony! Lightning bolts, whirlwinds, falling bridges,
falling rocks, bungee jumps, hot lava... "Does an Amazon Queen beat a
Warrior Princess?" Only if she wants her to. But I think Callisto and
Velasca would be more into that. Anyway...they take the plunge
together... into that hot lava. While our heroine rescues the bard
once again..."Don't let go. I'm coming. Hold onto me." For
sure. "Let's do it."
"A Day in the Life"
Still the favorite episode of many a fan, and with good reason.
Perhaps, the only truly flawless show in the series. Ingeniously
devised, beautifully
scripted (by R.J.), skillfully directed (by
Michael Hurst), playfully
performed. It didn't get any better than
this. Underplaying comedy works
wonders. When eager beaver Howar asks
with hopeful puppy dog eyes if Xena
would ever consider settling down
and getting married, Gab's proprietary
little Freudian slip shows
when she quips from lips that seem to run away
with her: "No, she
likes what I do--" Fwap. Freudian symbol for dinner,
baby. Cook 'em up. Furthermore, Xena invents the kite and discovers
electricity. One serious moment re the 'win one for the gipper,' uh, giant,
Goliath speech, come back with your kite, not on it. The ending is sweet,
and funny, and priceless. A quick kiss, filled with tender affection from
the excited little bard. Did Xena let her...or not? Hit her with the
staff, that is. Did anyone see Minya at the Melissa Etheridge
concert?
{Note: in the script of ADITL Minya's character is
introduced by comparison
to Rosie O'Donnell! as "the ultimate fan"}
Subtext Rating: Woke up, got outta bed...dragged a cooking utensil
across someone's head... We cannot only cook with your juices, but we
can slowly simmer in the most memorable hot tub scene in TV series
history. Truly, a High Water Mark! Bliss. You got this close, rubbing
fingers together,
because I let you...oh yeah...and that's not the
soap you're sitting on...
"Going to bed."
"For Him the Bell Tolls"
Another ep where Lucy takes off, Renee handles
it. What would Xena
do? The Lone Sidekick. The first Cupid episode. Karl
Urban unrecognizable as a punk Eros. Love the funky wings. Joxer the
Mighty. Gab tries to play the opposite of matchmaker to great comedic
effect. And when he kisses Gab..."That was scary." Really.
Actually, this is one of Ted Raimi's best eps...even though it is
purely an "homage" to (or rip-off of) the delightful Danny Kaye
classic "The Court Jester."
Subtext Rating: Let me count the ways.
Gabby is perplexed. "Jealous love.
Unrequited love. Tragic love."
All of the above. "Don't fight the heart,
Gabrielle. It's a powerful little muscle." Mmmhmm. "Love is soft and gentle,
not cruel." "You don't know much about love." She'll learn.
"The Execution"
Gab's old childhood hero, a braggadocio with feet of clay
is about to be hanged for murder and X&G seem to be on opposite sides of
the law concerning his fate. The expression on Xena's face when a determined
Gabrielle stands up to her brandishing her staff is revelatory. You'd
actually fight moi?! Gab's a great advocate to have on your side.
Tenacious. But she can be a fierce opponent. And stubborn. But she
turns out to be right in this instance. And Xena is the culprit.
Meleager didn't kill the guy. "Because I did." The killing happened
when Gab was in Athens.
Gab is such a little hero worshipper. Xena
comes to respect the erstwhile
hero and his paternal affection for
her bard. "People in our line of work
never get to be that age." A
poignant thought even a-way back then, but a
self-fulfilling prophecy
we thought would never actually come true.
Subtext Rating: Don't brandish that thing unless you're prepared to
use it.
Such palpable tension in the disagreement between X&G. Their first
real tiff. Was anything between these two ever less than passionate?
"Blind Faith"
This is surely the best thing critical and criticized
director Josh Becker contributed to the series. A measure of Xena's devotion
to Gabrielle, Xena is ennobled in her blindness. Willing to go blind
permanently to get to Gabrielle in time. The kid is beautiful in
blue.
And the cleavage. Amazing. And the flaming Pygmalion
reminiscent of Salmoneous who sidekicks hunky bad boy gone good at
the end is pure camp.
Silly elements in an ep with a heart. This one
always reminds me that there
ain't no mountain high enough to get to
where you are. (To mix musical
styles.)
Subtext Rating: "That must be some friend."
"I'd give my life to save her." She means it. And the self-revelation
on her features when she says it is very, well, revealing. Is this
the first time she's given voice to the depth of her love? Gab is the
damsel in distress here. Rescued at the last minute, in the nick of
time. By her warrior. The little catch in her voice when she says
Gabrielle and in Gabrielle's when she notices Xena's eyes. The hunk
is embarrassed, has to
turn away from their deeply felt emotional
intimacy. He knows. So do we.
Now.
"Ulysses"
Quality time--the girls together at the beginning of this ep.
But the hero is a bore. What would a woman like Xena see in him? Yawn. Xena
outsings the Sirens. Pissed off Poseidon. Gab is so cute when she's
seasick. This is the last (and only the second) man Xena was serious
about. I don't include Draco. Or the con man. Been an amazingly spare
dance card considering. But they know what we really like... I don't
hate this ep as much as some of y'all seem to--since it clearly
showed an unattractive and boring man totally unworthy of Xena,
especially compared to Gab. And the ep has some serious subtext.
Subtext Rating: "I need to know."
"You're part of my heart." "Gabrielle, you've been so good for
me--teaching--love." Gabrielle is not jealous, nor threatened for a
moment by Xena's attraction to the legendary hero--she knows where
she stands in Xena's affections. If X had sex with U than she did it
for the second time kinkily with Gab sleeping nearby. Xena is still
attempting to resist her attraction to Gab. It's abundantly clear at
this point. Part of my heart is another way of saying, where you go,
I go (or whither thou
goest...). Xena assumes even if she is
attracted to a particular man that
Gab will still remain by her side
with the inclusive "we." Interesting
arrangement. But, of course, a
disservice to the truth and beauty of their
relationship, firmly
established in previous eps. If this is the het
nonpareil then Gab is
the only viable reality or rational solution. When
Xena uses the word
love in relation, mostly, to what she's found with Gab,
the bard fairly pounces upon it, her face lighting up at the thought of it.
This coming after Gab has overheard suggestive murmurings between her
friend and the legendary hero and looks as though she's overheard the
love of her life slipping away from her, who then goes to Xena and faces
her with a very direct, "I need to know." An odd thing for a
mere friend to say to another. That's clearly lovers' talk and that
was how ROC played it.
I'd always thought LL was the keeper of the
subtext, but ROC has had her own
shining moments when she steps up to
the plate and hits it right out of the
park. Bless you, darlin'
"The Price"
What savage beauty. From the wild, careening opening aerial shot of
NZ's winding waterways to the frightening realization of a seemingly
implacable foe. The Horde. Ugly mothers. The same director (Oley
Sassone) would also use that "Apocalypse Now" shot in "The Debt."
Beginning with laid-back fishing hole humor and quickly turning to
non-stop, break-neck, fast and furious, deadly earnest adventure this
is a memorable ep. Gabrielle thinks Xena has gone battle lust bonkers
and reverted to type, which sets up one of their rare confrontations
and battle of wills, but we can plainly see what is really
happening...she will do
anything, whatever it takes to keep her bard
alive.
Subtext Rating: Slip of the...tongue. She almost says it... Xena
almost comes out in this ep. When she's kneeling by Gabrielle's side
as they tend to a wounded soldier and Lucy either ad libs or gives a
great reading of
scripted ellipses... "You don't know how much I
love...that." She'd almost
said "you" and bit it back for whatever
reason. Xena just couldn't be the
first one of them to admit it aloud
to the viewer. That would be for the
bard to do.
============
"Lost Mariner"
A heartfelt dissertation on the depths of love.
Gabrielle's initial desolation at being parted from her partner in a
maelstrom is alleviated by the wondrous sight of her warrior battling to
reach the enchanted vessel which has rescued the bard, a bittersweet pride
and awe in the fact that in so doing Xena will, too, and, knowingly,
become a victim of the curse which will never allow them to leave the
ship. Xena makes the sacrifice without a moment's hesitation and even
the grizzled old sailor boys recognize true love and devotion when
they see it. When Cecrops describes his grand passion we know that
must be the way Xena feels about another woman with green eyes. "It's
the love I feel...
The love you have for Gabrielle. Would you risk
your life for her?"
Subtext Rating: "I figured it out." The ship that launched a thousand
faces. The range of expression and emotion on Gabrielle's face as she
watches Xena do everything in her considerable power to get to her
aboard ship is a study in admiration, desire, somewhat selfish guilt,
wonder that her warrior is doing it all for her, willing to be with
her under any circumstances come what may. She knows Xena will not be
deterred.
Telling her not to come isn't even an option.
"A Comedy of Eros"
The opening shots of Karl Urban, unrecognizable as
Caesar here, as the
winged punky God of Love cooing to the mischievous cherub
are some of the few utterly precious and adorable moments in series
history. A merry mix-up in the classic tradition. Xena falls for Draco, Gab
for Joxer (smelling salts please) aka "pookie," Draco for Gab... And it goes
on and on and around and around and just when you think you're going
to puke--
Subtext Rating: Puleeze... Yes, we can all quibble (or groan, or
threaten a thousand deaths, or gnash our teeth and tear our hair) when
Jerxer comes between our girls quite literally, maddeningly (in an
agonizing slo-mo tease yet), and that babylove arrow of cupidity meant
for them alone (not that they
needed it). The title IS a parody of The
Comedy of ERRORS afterall. But
Draco, of all people, sees the truth,
though blinded by the light of love for
Gabrielle himself, and cuts to
the chase: when Xena asks him if he would risk
killing "the woman you
love," he throws it back in her face--"The question
is, would you?"
What? The reference is to the "Woman" you love... He's a
smart enough cookie to size up his competition...and, as we know, he already
knows Xena...
============
"The Furies"
The Madness of Princess Xena. Those flaky fandancing Furies put
the fix in with Ares to mess with Xena's mind. Another episode that
Lucy deserved an emmy for. She fearlessly goes way over the top on
the comedic mad scenes, but
beautifully underplays the tragic hero
tones.
The expression in her eyes, the
devastation written on her face
when she listens in utter stillness to
her mother's tale of her father's death
and when she contemplates suicide are
goosebump inducing. And I still
believe she hit the nail on its head when she
deduced that Ares was
really her daddy. It would explain so much. And he had already
portrayed himself as her father in "Ties That Bind." That's a big
honking clue.
Subtext Rating: The Passion of a
Powerful Princess. We have to wonder
just what the crazed but alluring WP
means when she suggestively
murmurs in Gabrielle's ear that she "can't be trusted" while tying the bard
to a tree (and appearing to ogle her
cleavage...not that even a
Hestian Virgin could help herself in that
enviable position...) Hmm. And
Gabs comforting the naked wild woman warrior
in Lady Macbeth mode has
lent feverish details to more than one bit of
inspired fanfic. Ares
little parting snipe re Gabs: "I still don't get what
you see in her."
Gab's eyes narrow and she sets her jaw in an almost
arrogant
little smirk--wouldn't you like to know...
"Been There, Done That"
Best comedy ep. Great slapstick. Not
overdone...for a change. Joxer
dies, is burned and returns the 'same'
morning--all in the teaser!
Group hug. What a clever script. Even though
it's 'based' on "Groundhog Day"
it is still very fresh and exuberantly
well-done. Favorite comic
moments: when Xena rants on and the camera slow
pans to Gab and Jox
bound and gagged and when Xena kills Jox with her chakram
and goes back to sleep and Gab freaks. Xena throws a mean tantrum. This
ep makes me laugh out loud every time. Ad infinitum.
Subtext Rating:
Carpe Diem...
Sieze the day. Literally.
The 'cameo' of Xena lying with Gabrielle in her arms...to die for. The
sweetly guilty expression on Gabrielle's face when Joxer asks Xena if
that's a hickey. They should have made as big a deal of Gab's 'death'
as well even though Xena
knows time, by this time, will reverse itself in
the morning. We hear her
mourn at the pyre. But we should have seen it
and felt her pain. Their
reunion is cute...though Gab has no earthly
idea what they are celebrating.
She doesn't seem to mind. And Joxer
interrupts again. Argh.
"The Dirty Half Dozen"
Steel. Steal. The Magnificent 7 ride. The motley
six or so, that is.
Gab & Xena look cool in capes. Ares gets off on
playing war games. ROC is
beautiful by firelight.
Subtext Rating:
The Changer and the Changed.
"Gabrielle is a good teacher."
Gab asks, "Am I what you made me?" What would have happened if
they'd met earlier... That's one to ponder. They've both changed each other
so much, even at this point. Gab says, "I'm not a little girl." Xena
muses, if I had met her before, maybe... "Question is, who would I be
without you?" Ah, thank you, Xena. That was the thoughtful warrior I fell
in love with.
I'm treating these two two-parters or four-part arc as two
two-hour
episodes.
"The Deliverer"
Where things really started going wrong for our beloved duo in
a season-long arc of tragedy that began with "The Furies." Never travel
to the land of the banshees with revenge in your heart--no good thing
will come of it. Brittain. Caesar. Bodicea. The Druids. Stonehenge
(seems Xena was responsible, in part at least, for that too). A witch's
brew.
How amusing that the druidical cultists engaged in human sacrifice
speak softly in proto-christian terms. Krafstar, the kelt in the kilt,
yet another prettyboy face that Gab becomes enamoured of, transmutes to
the title character to visit the wrath of Dahok upon our poor
blood-innocent bard. He acts as godaweful go-between to Deliver something
more than bad news; the facilitator of fecundity as the young bard is
literally raped by evil.
Subtext Rating: Love in the Ruins. "You're a little late...I'm already
Torn..." Was Gabby so ticked at Xena dragging her there and
then abandoning her that she actually wanted to sleep with the keltish boy
to proclaim her independence of the warrior? Would she have if their
guard had not been present after they were captured by Caesar? Did he
remind her of Perdicus, perhaps? Was Xena mightily jealous? (She looks
as though she's eaten a sour grape or two.) Xena does save Gab from
the same fate Caesar inflicted upon her, the breaking of both legs as
she hangs on the cross. "Timing" is everything though. Both in foreplay
and friend saving. She battles for her bard, heart-broken by her
lost innocence (losing one's innocence in blood has a whole other meaning
as well) and cradles Gab in her arms, finally. But-- Everything
has changed...
============
"Gabrielle's Hope"
A curious sensuous dream that turns nightmare. Gab relives her first kill.
What an ironic title as we look back upon and remember the much
happier, light-hearted time in earlier days when Pandora's Box became
a metaphor
for the hope we all carry inside us, the optimistic young
bard more than most. Shattered now. In this lively remake of "Rosemary's
Baby" poor Gab goes
though hades as she gives birth to a watermelon
sized preemie from hell. Xena
inadvertantly becomes The Once and Future
King of England when she
blithely pulls Excalibur from the stone, The
Banshees have a bad hair day,
one of many, Gab is in sackcloth, o dear
what can we do, baby's in black and
we're feeling blue... The controversy over Xena's single-minded determination
to kill her beloved's demon devil daughter not only began The Rift arc, but
the rift among fan factions as well. There are those who still can't
figure out what Gab was upset about. As well as those who never forgave
the warrior. How soul-shatteringly sad it was to see one friend run from
the other. Something we thought we'd never see. The distrust is
planted beween them and will almost destroy them. And as Missy Good has so
chillingly enunciated in her stories, it is as if it deliberately, evilly
contrived to do so, in fact, it would seem. By whatever Powers That Be.
Subtext Rating:
Strange Cravings... "She's relentless." Xena, still only
middling attentive to her bard's needs, does manage to midwife, nurture,
and nursemaid the birthing mother...for awhile. She can be gentle,
tender and loving when she wants to be. Sigh. She holds the young woman in
her arms still sporting those sexy demon-induced passion marks on her
arm.
"You are the Gate, the Way, the Spring." Xena might say the same
thing to her bard if she'd get over that aloof tougher than leather act.
(I'd
always wondered how in the previous ep and in this one they could
make it look like Lucy had actually picked up Renee and was even
carrying her...having seen a few of La ROC's ultra petite costumes up close
and personal I now understand--she just did it!)
============
"The
Debt" (Parts I & II)
One of the most extraordinary made for tv films of genuine
cinematic quality that I have ever seen in decades of viewing.
Pageantry, savagery, and a sensual love story gorgeously filmed. The
phenomenal Jackie Kim's knowing performance as Lao Mao is pure stillness
and peerless depth personified. A singular character creation one
doesn't often see on tv. Sumptuous, luscious cinematography, costumes,
setting, etc. The series reached a pinnacle here that it never quite
achieved again. Gab's betrayal (and Xena finding her in Ming Tien's bed no
less) is perhaps the most shocking moment in the series and
thoroughly unexpected. Despite the bard's protestations to altruistic
motives, it is only too clearly obvious that it is the other woman, Xena's
old flame, that provokes her eye-popping display of the green-eyed
monster within. Not until "Forget Me Not" will Gab come to admit to
her overwhelming Jealousy in the matter. And that angry, resounding
slap from the bard's small hand as Xena knelt before her in tears
spoke volumes as grande and substantial as Lao Ma's Book. As did Gab's
tears through laughter when Xena requests the touching intimacy of a
nose scratch. This ep is where subtext becomes darkly maintext. They had
full control of their narrative here and made some memorable tv.
Subtext Rating:
Paybacks ARE a bitch. Never was an opening scene more
extraordinary in picking up right where the previous ep left off. At the end
of Gab's Hope the bard was pouring out her heart's blood over the Moses
Gambit she was forced to perform for her now 'lost' and presumed dead (by
Xena) child. This was Gab's First Lie. Which will come back to haunt
them.
Big Time. Now, as the bard had removed herself from their sleeping
furs to muse alone Xena rolls over as if it is the most natural thing in
the world and extends her arm in an obviously second-nature,
habitual gesture to wrap it around the woman she fully expects to be lying in
bed right next to her. And, in fact, when her arm finds no bard where
she expected her to be this apparently unusual and unforseen turn of
events instantly wakens the sleeping warrior and sets her off in search
of her partner. Both subtle and blatant, if this did not establish the
nature of that relationship beyond a reasonable doubt than nothing could.
The first tentative I love yous are exchanged in what will become a
mantra in episodes to come. Once they started saying it, they couldn't
stop themselves. And mistress of the kiss that is not really a kiss-- You
can call it mouth-to-mouth (uh, resuscitation, of course...it
sure resuscitates me, gets my heart pumping alright), giving the breath
of life, but that underwater kiss which was just and only 'that' was one
of the most erotic images I've ever seen on television. Call it what
you will, Lao Ma's Kiss stays with you.